I
they come without their childhoods:
little birds, worn and wind-broken,
mouths wide open, songs stilled
and closed
II
numbness lies
deep,
deeper
than the tongue, and eyes,
half empty, half
full
III
the scalpel’s sharp
- don’t let my hands stumble:
from the white bones
of brokenness
I must carve a flute
Author notes
Inspired by contest picture (and my work, of course)
– 49 words
In a list
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- MY FAVORITE POEMS TO READ (other authors) • next in list
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- My favorites by Allpoetry poets • next in list
- Tranquil[ity] • next in list
A contest entry
- Invite Only ღ by Naridill.
500 points, ended December 12, 2007, 2 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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beautiful. effective format, powerful images.
"they come without their childhoods:
little birds, worn and wind-broken"
and "eyes, / half empty, half / full"
were most striking and evocative.
have a hard time imagining how a song is closed, and the use of a "scapel" to carve a flute seemed odd to me... perhaps that was intentional, the juxtaposition of the sterile surgical instrument to bring the gentle music of the flute?
also wonder if the "poem" in the title is neccesary?
but these are small quibbles. feel like the technical terms of my comment can't do such gentle, graceful poetry justice. really lovely piece, and wonderful that you do this important work. -
I love this because truth is for one to make their lives better there must be some painful carving, but if they can do it. The lovely music they can make of their lives. I can see this. Well done
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I cannot even begin to say how this touches me. The beauty of these words run so deep. Social workers are the saviors of so many small, fragile souls. They are the saints for so many children. You mend the smallest of broken souls. Bravo. To say I am touched is putting it mild. You brought tears to this old crones eyes.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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Thank you for a lovely comment BJ. Social work isn't an easy job but it's the little ones that keeps me there (sometimes the 'big' ones too)
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beautiful... pretty awesome work here
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when one realizes so much of someone's future seems to depend on what one does, it is a sobering moment, never taken for granted or lightly, dedication to craft, and this strikes me here... excellence and such meaningful words here...PK
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Thank you, PK ... it isn't always what one does, but how... in everything
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Oh my this is stunning. I see that your work is always with you. Sometimes hard I am sure, other times rewarding. You have that gentle face of compassion and are probably very good at what you do. The ending of this was wonderful and the entire poem floated like music from the flute you carved at the end.
Becky
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Becky, thank you for such a lovely comment!
I guess a social worker carries something of her work with her always.
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Apparently I missed this one ...
Love that you carve a flute at the end, so they can have their song back. Was just telling my housemate this morning, that you're a social worker, and told her where you lived...
has to be some hard days at work (as with any social working type position,) and maybe i'm naive, but it seems it must be a bit harder there than it would be here.
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Yes, it's quite hard here and with a shortage of social workers in SA we are really stretched to the limit. I'm not in the field much anymore (more a trainer and consultant/researcher) but to keep the morale of my workers up isn't easy. But the children keep me here and they keep my feet on the ground. Thank you, Suzie
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thanks for sharing
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This is truly an awesome poem if this is a silver the gold must be in running to the Pulitzer or something
well done dear
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Wow, Nicolette, this is wonderfully written, so passionate and compassionate... You obviously love your work and knowing you I think you're really suited for it. Very well done
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Thank you, Diana...
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Each word here is carefully chosen as though each carries its own mission and they do much like the lady who wrote this who carries the mission of hope and the beauty of light.
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Thanks again, Rhona. I don't often write about my work but this one almost wrote itself. It's not an easy job but the little ones make it worthwhile, keep me here.
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the name is odd I am not sure I make the conections but my mind is slow toda
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I adore poems that tell more than one story at a time - that have meanings so plentiful it takes an hour of cressing each word to begin to understand the language the poem speaks. This is one of those poems and then some. I have been entering into conversation with it for a day now, and it's still as new to me now as the first time I read it. I love it, and I love your voice, dear.
The imagery of the birds is amazing, fragile and newborn. I love the imagery of flutes being carved from white bone (I wonder about tying this instrument back to the voice of the birds? Just me musing ). I think your second section, though beautiful and powerful, is the weakest of the poem, mostly because you don't have a concrete image like birds or bones or flutes to latch on to. But still, overall, this poem has left me breathless and I will continue to mull it over for days. Great job!
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Sweet Lady, this one drew tears from my eyes. The heartbreak, the broken lives.... But, I know you can make beautiful music of anything, dear one. I also know, they are so lucky to have someone like you to look after them. How well this illustrates who YOU are, and what you do, by looking deep into them. "...from white bones of brokenness I must carve a flute...." Brilliant! You are a true gift, dear one, as is this beautiful poem.
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this is beautiful and soulful as ever
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oh my gosh nic.. this is gorgeous.
each vignette stands on its own
but flows flawlessly into the next also-
the final image of the flute from bird bone is brilliant..
what a beautiful way
to describe the basic
tenets of your job-
of your work- of the healing power
of your job.. beautiful
m
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Excellent work through indirection and metaphor...coupled with image and clear, precise language. Communicates meaning and emotion without becoming preachy about it. Well-deserving of a trophy.
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beautifully composed - sorrowful but filled with hope - I love the final three lines... this is a powerful expression f purpose...
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Beautiful Nicolette. You could carve a flute out of anything. Your heart is so big. I know these children are so thankful they have you. Congrats on the silver. Lief vir jou, my vriendin.
~Lyrical
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Gust beautiful and so worthy of the chalice...such a job you do...making flutes is a sacred walk
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Vivid - Striking
You have to reach all the way inside to reach them. To the bone, to the heart...
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Nicolette leaves me in awe with alomost every piece. She doesn't write poems, but writes poetry - she carves a song, a silence and a sigh. And that is why, at the end of the day, hers is the piece that receives my last sigh, and at the break of dawn, hers is piece that is rich with the scent of my appreciation.
Thank you, Nicolette - you have given us all so many beautiful pieces, there is little place in our heart to hold all of this beauty., thank you.
~Namita
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I'm just wondering... If someone ever had an orgasm, just by reading your work, would they have the guts to admit it - lol
This poem, and all the rest of your work by the way, has this high poetical orgasm potentiality (if that is a word) that keeps on asking the attention for the reader...
One can read this as much as they want, it will always be refreshing and never boring
Great job, my friend!
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...Sighhh!
"they come with their childhoods:
little birds, worn and wind-broken,
mouths wide open, songs stilled
and closed "
I'm sure you make them sing, Scribe.
Jus' like you do us...All the time!!
~ Nicky♥
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"from the white bones
of brokenness
I must carve a flute"
Sighhh...I have no doubt that you leave a trail of music wherever you go, whichever lives you touch with your gentle hands, my Friend...Good luck in the contest, Sweetie...Bless you & others that do these things, especially for the childrens' sake. Vlindertjie
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a flute~ how perfect that notion is. To take a youth silent & broken, and make them find their song again, well, such hard work, but I'm so glad there are people like you out there to do it.
Heartfelt, and lovely Nicolette. You inspire me.
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You made me cry with this one. Sometimes people throw stones at those trying to help kids. I have wondered myself sometimes how someone could take away a child from a parent when that parent is really trying and put them into state care that sometimes leaves very little to be desired. I know this is a slanted view as so many are helped by people like you, who give their all and cry many many times in the process because the load is so heavy. You took a metaphor that anyone else would have turned into a cliche and made it fly - literally.
Also congrats on your book. As soon as my finances are on track again, I am going to get meself a copy. You deserve to be published Nicci. Thanks for sharing your life and your words with us.
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Absolute concise brilliance my dear; truly masterful!
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wow this is a wonderful poem. I really liked it. You are a great writer keep up the good work.
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Oh man... I can say nothing..for you have penned it perfectly.
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a hopeful wonderful finale
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The title is picture perfect as a concise introduction and as a gift wrapped summery of this,akin to a social workers prayer of understanding.
The presentation alone has a gentleness, each stanza gradually stepping into the other with a soft footprint.
The metaphor is majestic, it utilzes the fragility of the bird stilled of it's voice so that the poetess does not de personalize nor reveal identity nor personal tragedy and avoids adding to the dark by writing with Light to reveal the reality.
It's poignant,creative,well structured,caring and shows poetically.It's compact with an impact that makes an impression on behalf of all the children with wounds so deep they only know brokenness.
The poetess is truly gifted poetically and chooses to lighten the heavy loads of children with crosses that would be more than any adult could bear.
You are an earth angel with a beautiful voice but also an angel of action and for every child you enable you ultimately enable their own children to be and help them to walk with their inner child that never was allowed grace or favour by being both graceful and by paying the ultimate favour of caring enough to cope and coping enough to care.
Beautifully written,heart touching tendrils of pure poetry written with the essence of personal responsibility.
Outstanding.Upstanding.Bravo.
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Nic
this is truly stunning
the depth of feeling captured in intrinsic metaphors and imagery - the little bird mouths floored me
you may know that i work in child protection - with your permission i would like to print this to put on my wall above my desk
hal empty half full?
how many times do we amaze at the resilience of the children...
excellent work
elaine
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Extraordinary!!!!
When put into context......I have reread this knowing the target of the feeling........and I am glad that I was able to read this, knowing the intent......It's truely a great work. -
Wow
Intriguing none the less. It challenges the reader to find what this would mean to them......so many times a peice of work goes unrecognized because the reader feels that it's nonsense.......I must admitt, that I don't quite get it....but I will let the words rippen in my mind and hope that the meaning is revealed.
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