What to be thankful for...
The stupid friend that meddled in,
and caused something big to begin...
and the fact that he, knowing none of the facts,
helped make it all happen...just like that.
The ex best friend, to who if she had,
the common sense to be happy, and glad,
that she had someone special, who's love was immense,
but she always lived in the future tense...
With her "what ifs" and "maybes", and "what if he don't"
never to consider he does and not "won't".
If it wasn't for her locked up and away,
I wouldn't have walked with him that day,
and gotten to know the person inside,
even though he smiled and often shied...
The know-it-all mum who shouted and screamed
with my sisters as they watched from the window at me.
It seems after all she did know best,
with her little jokes and annoying jest.
I guess what I have to be thankful for,
is the family I have, and the love I adore.
Author notes
I guess this is a thank you nearly a year ago you meddled in, and look where we all are now
A contest entry
- WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR by Darc Soul.
450 points, ended January 3, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Really nice poem you got here. I think we all have something to be immensely grateful for, especially family and loved ones.
Just to point out a few things that could be fixed is that the 'i' in the 4th verse, 3rd line needs to be capitalized. And also maybe in the big second verse, you could maybe break up that big long 'sentence' with maybe a period or a semi-colon. It's a lot to say in one sentence, and a reader gets kind of lost with all the commas.
Again, really nice poem. I got the feeling you were trying to give it. I like the rhyming you have in it too. I didn't even really realize that you were rhyming until the middle of the 2nd verse, so I'd say you made the poem flow with the words you chose.
Keep up the good writing! =]]
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