They trudged through many battlefields
Eating M&Ms and swallowing fear
Just little boys in big army boots
The things they carried; always near
They reminisced about lost loved ones
Regaling while they threw grenades
They blocked it out the best they could
but the things they carried never faded
They lost fights and some lost their lives
Things hit them hard, they still fired
Smoking and laughing...It was all to hide
the things they carried; now in them wired
They put on brave faces and bullet-proof vests
Patching each other up as wounds bled
but even pure morphine could not numb
the things they carried in their head
Then it was over. They won, they were told
The lucky got home and some even married
but wenty years later, still swallowing fear
Nothing could ease the things they carried
Author notes
Inspired by the incredible and heartbreaking story which I am reading at the moment 'The things they carried' by Tim O'Brien. I curled up crying as I read it last night.
The story reminded me of the song 'Travellin' soldier' by the Dixie Chicks which stirs my heart every tear I hear it and everytime my mummy sings it.
I know the poem is far from perfect in flow and tense but it means a lot to me...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Reading the first stanza I thought this was a poem about little boys playing, and thr reading on made it all the more poignant. Wonderful emotion and depth. Beatiful work!
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ellie -
We've never met/spoken before,
but I want you to know that your words will touch SO many, so quickly.
You have an absolutely mesmerizing voice at such a young age.
This piece means a lot to my fiance and myself - he is leaving for the Marines in just a short couple of months.
You are so gifted - Stay strong, and your pen as well.
Keep living life to the fullest.
Much respect and hope,
~*SL*~
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Deep and touching ellie!
You are progressing so well...Better than some of those who has tried to do this for years. Just goes to show you are a natural talent.
Loves Ya and sorry for not being on so much...Tooo much comittments lol (Kids).
Slá agus gra
Dolores xx
xx
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Well done
Wonderful poem on a difficult topic, I know people who came back different then when they left. I am one of the lucky ones my country never asked me to serve. Great job but sad, Boog
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this is great!!! keep up the good work!
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thank you!
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YOU ARE TWELVE YEARS OLD? Wow! Actually, I'm eleven, but I honestly think you are amazing. The rhyme and flow is good, and the message and sadness is stunning. I love the first stanza "Eating M&M's and swallowing fear" "Just little boys in big army boots--". LOVE IT.
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Thank you I really appreciate your very kind comment!
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Moving and Meaningful
Fine job on this. It is clear and touching. It is very thought provoking. Excellent writing.
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thank you for taking the time to comment on my poem
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it doesn't need to be perfect for it to be a great poem. great job, you inspire me all the time!!
lise
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Wow Ellie...
What can I say? This poem touched my heart so deeply... It makes me feel so sad about the things that happened in that war, and in every war of the past and present... War is a horrible thing and having innocent children fight for "their country" makes it even worse...
I really need to read this book some time...
Thank you so much for sharing this poem!
I LOVE YOU!
Annie
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thank you for commenting! It is the best feeling when a poems that means so much to me touches someone else too...I wrote this poem with tears trickling down my cheeks and I still can't read it back without shivering....but I really recommend the book...It is eye-opening and heart-wrenching!
I love you too!
Ellie x
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WOW... I don't know what to say... you are an amazing writer and...
WOW. This is great anything that can put this much emotion inside of me is a work of art.
love roses
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You have captured a universal truth of war... that the main victims are the winners... the dead ones do not suffer so much. Wonderful write.
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Thank you. I really appreciate your comment and applause.
Merry Christmas!
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your infinite compassion and sensibility to others' pain touches me deeply ...
please keep on telling the story of those who don't have words to express the unexpressable ...
I love you, my little angel,
merry christmas to you and your family,
marion
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Dear maa,
thank you for the beautiful, kind comment
I love you too!
Merry Christmas
ellie xx
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Thank you
I don't have words for this
Thank you
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excellent
Ellie don't be concious about flow. What matters is the truth being spoken from your heart as you feel it. Don't beat yourself up. You speak the truth clearly in this poem which is something to be proud of. Anyway I can see that book really inspired you. Reading helps kids come up with nice things to say and do. If only every kid across the world was able to do that instead of engaging in television and video games. I enjoyed this very much. Have a
in honor of your honest tears and devotion to reading such an influential piece of literature.
Love Brian -
Flow and tense are not always relevant. This poem lives and breathes. The book is a heart stopping experience and this poem depicts the mood very well.
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