I feel i have run out of options
this is all my fault
even though you did this
you dare not put it to a hault
I turn around and walk away
I glimse back and you have a smile
are you proud of what you did today
I grab my blade and stare down at the tile
If your proud then I must be doing something right
I feel the cold sharp metal against my skin
maybe I should end my life tonight
My hand pushes down and the blade digs in
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
wow...i feel the emotion behind it.
good job=]
-
Oh I hope this is just a poem and you don't feel this way. But its hard when you do feel very sad.
-
I hate it when people say that there doesn't feel emotional enough. Fuck that shit! They don't know what the hell is going on in your life! ERG!!! well anyway's I think this is a wonderful poem and I also think it is very full of emotion! Don't let stupid people offend you. Keep writing!
-
i feel sick bout this u know why?
because you think your nothing, everyone says i want to die but fair enof i do but when u think your nothing ur wrong, and that gets me mad.by wat u read in my poems people prob think im the one dead but im not and im here so never think or speak them word again"im nothin" of impose it, ok?
-
its good.
the ending sounds odd and sudden. its a good one..but..needs some work. but don't stop writing please, u have a great start here. but you need to work on it. thats all. -
i love iti really love it i can realtei
its great really
-
Hm. It doesn't seem like you put any emotion in this piece. I mean, sure you wrote it. But, I don't feel the emotion. There should be emotion there - right? where is it?!
Also, I find big chunks like these hard to read. *ouch*
*my eyes*
Good job though. The rhymes are perfect, and your words are quite fluid. Smooth.
Good job!
keep at it!
-
i cant read this im blind
what does mit say -
deep
-
rattling my nerves
this is a scary piece of work but, a well put together one.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
