A card game holding all our lives
A girl who struggles, but survives
It's like a plague or a disease
She's getting all the twos and threes
Her lips breathe another failed wish
She tried to love, and the world said "go fish"
And all her life she's played this game
And everything just stays the same
But on this day, a new life starts
'Cause she picked up the Ace of Hearts
And she couldn't believe her eyes that day
She couldn't believe that it won't go away
Confused, but yet blissful in every way
And the Ace of Hearts was there to stay
Her jaw and lungs drop to the floor
She's seen this card just once before
A figure grew out of the blue
And ripped that Ace of Hearts in two
But here it was, it's back again
Just like it had happened then
She holds it tight in strong embrace
So scared she'd lose her precious ace
She can't believe, she's unaware
The Ace of Hearts is always there
And she couldn't even see that day
Blinded and scared, in every way
She can never believe that it won't go away
But girl, that ace is there to stay
Author notes
December 10, 2007... This poem is about my relationship with my girlfriend. She has the saddest life of anyone I know. If you ever read her life story, you'd be crying. Since all she knows is bad luck and sadness, she didn't expect me to come along. She tells me I'm perfect. She says I'm the best thing that ever happened to her, because I'm the only relationship she's ever had that didn't fail completely... and it scares her that there's nothing wrong with our relationship because she EXPECTS something to be wrong. That's why her worst fear is that we won't work out.
Option #9--- Love.
A contest entry
- Options!!!!!! by xX-Lost Forever-Xx.
330 points, ended December 11, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ace's Playing Card Inspired Contest by AceOSpades.
950 points, ended January 13, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is one of those "about my girlfriend" type poems that kind of makes sense without reading all the author's notes... which is definitely a plus. The rhyming and rhythm isn't bad, and the sentiment is cute. I also really like the opening line, "a card game holding all our lives". It's a great line as well as a great opening hook. Nice work!
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It is an excellent poem. The flow is great, the metaphor is original and well-used
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This is a really nice poem. I loved the way you wrote it as if it were a deck of cards. I like the meaning behind it. Nice job.
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wow, such a sweet metaphorical thingie in all.
i really like it. i'm like that with one of my freinds cause i'm just so sure it cant be that perfect. anyhow. loved it
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Really really great write, I like your analogy with the card game, very effective
My girlfriend sounds kind of similar...not to compare or anything...and her life hasn't been that bad but more bad things have happened to her than most...I hope you two do make it, I really do.
"A card game holding all our lives" - that's an awesome start, pulling the reader in.
"Struggles but survives" - I like the way you've written that.
"Getting all the twos and threes" - like I said I really liked your analogy.
There are lots of other great lines but I won't copy and paste anymore...OK maybe one more...actually two
"She holds it tight in strong embrace
So scared she'd lose her precious ace"
Love it
I also thought the way you set it out was neat too Good luck in the contest and take care x
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WOW! That was great! I loved how much emotion and feelings you put into that piece. It's sad that this relates to a real life. To bad the world can be a happy place. This has been the best rhyming poem i've ever read! I absolutely love it! Good luck in my contest!
-Summer Moonstone
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This is an awesome poem. I like the way you phraed it, it shows deep emotion and it flows the lines, almsot like a song. I really loved this piece and wish you best of luck in the contest. I hope your GF can get over her bad luck soon, i guess she's had some good luck, resource= your poem.
Best of luck in the contest,
Anne1122(annie shadows)
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