flight is hampered
by wings
darkened
with disease
I will simply
bend with the curve
to re-grow
white
& fly again
In a list
whatcha think of this? critique welcome
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Ahh... now this is lovely. I love the feel I gpt from this. It felt familiar to me, like I have been there before myself. I enjoy a piece I can relate to and when it leaves me asking why I get a feeling of relatability it makes me think. Food for thought is a good thing. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you.
Blessings
Bel
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Thoughts
At first, I was somewhat lost when reading this but then re-read this again then happen to glance down to understand the full impact of what you were saying. Nevertheless this was a really good read. Best of luck -
For a poem that has few words, it says so much. It's great that there isn't any self pity portrayed. Thanks for entering.
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Excellent!
In the spirit of determination faith
and hope I applaud this power piece.
Life is full of adversity. Someone said
"if there were no rain in our life
we would never grow." Your poem is full
of insight and wisdom. You've captured
the essense of survival with this small
but brilliant write. Well done poet!
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this is A wounderful write
very much emotion filled
with out the need of an
abundant amount of words -
I read a poem by Rabindranath Tagore, 'Flute-Music', and your style is pretty similar to his in the manner that you have expressed a lot in a few words, and very successfully!
This creation speaks of hope: of the difficulties we face and how we should always deal with them by facing them and not shying away with fear. I'm glad I read this. Not only am I filled with that certain 'hope' that this poem conveys so well, but I have also learned a new style, and a wonderful one, in the art of poetry.
Keep writing, and I dare say, inventing and teaching us new ways of poetry!
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thank you
I will have to check out the poem you've mentioned. sounds like something I would like
peace to you
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I gained a substance, I'll send you something of own
LadyUnique not with eek
my first reaction needed to gel, but it was available when I heard on the radio how a baby chick would then get 'white wings' and it correlates well with this I think to go towards real life... even as ultimately given for adjustments to endure tenderly for.
I felt this important to be shared too,
also called
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short but sweet
this is very short but it is simply amazing, the enrchment of the description divine i can tell you pulled this one from deep within. good piece you have here.
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oh what simplicity and such depth at the same time...
Very deserving of gold indeed.
Becky
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I love the idea of wings unable to fly because of disease. This is a really wonderful poem. Hold on hun!
-Snow
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This seems so simple, and yet has a depth that is awe inspiring. So much can be read between each line, each word, and even into the words you chose. You have spoken volumes, quietly and profoundly. Amazing!!
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Strength in brevity and words of truth. A wonderful write in imagery and thought...for never giving up the fight is what makes us strong and sutvivors.
Well done!
Thank you for entering! -
simple complex beautiful
we all have our battles to fight. you have bravely accepted the hand you were dealt and put faith in flying. where would we be without those who courageously rise to fly when at times it would seem safer and more comfortable not to. I appreciate your voice, your struggle, and the way that your poem moves me to think of flying today. Thanks. -
oooh, I was getting ready to catch some sleep (hopefully with the cacaphony of snoring
) and just had to catch a glimpse of your new write 
You definately gave something to ponder upon. It's short, but the impact and imagery is stunning again
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Wonderful write! I loved the turnaround in the second stanza, the imagery, the symbolism of angel wings...everything. If you wrote this because you have Multiple Sclerosis, from what I read of the first comment, I have to say, your determination to pull through is incredible - amazing inner strength, just like the prompt.
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Three cheers for you! YOu have more inner strength than you know.MY father died from MS, and my sister was just diagonsed with it. I got very emotional when reading this. Best wishes in this contest!
Shana and more!
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