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Dancing over Blue

 
 

 

 

 
To the north there is winter.

There, frozen rain washes

nothing away. Solid lakes

store movement on flesh
in tiny tracks that ripple
into cracks. Unlike southern
climes, where spider legs
tread light on brittle water,
promising a drowning

but for surface tension
holding all aloft-

feet dancing over blue.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Jersene silver member
    December 15, 2007
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    The imagery and metaphor is impeccable...excellent penning!


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply









  • Night Hope gold member
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "Solid lakes

    store movement on flesh
    in tiny tracks that ripple
    into cracks."

    Funny. I just posted one with a spider in it. This is poignant, lovely, haunting & melancholy, my Friend. Good luck in Mary's contest, Sweetie. Wanda


  • Utok Bulinaw
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • Luna Tique Fringe gold member
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "frozen rain washes away nothing"...holy moley...nice.


  • Naridill
    December 10, 2007

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    Beautiful title & ending.
    When felt, blue is sad, but when read blue is so beautiful -when you see it, its captivating and so powerful, like love, just better.

    'There the rain, being frozen,
    washes nothing away.'

    That second line, it does seem a little out of place, but I love the first line, so you can't re-word that

    But all in all, I love this, it's simply so enthralling yet it's finished, from start to end - I could read more, but not left wanting more as it has ended. If that makes sense.



  • Cat gold member
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really really good kate- just an enjoyable winter romp nearly perfectly told in color and nuance-

    if i may: there frozen rain
    washes nothing away

    i love the spider feet in this- and the blues

    wonderful poetry

    m
  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simply perfect.

1 - 10 of 10