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A Brand New Hell

 

Acrid mists swirl round the halls,
as fresh blood runs down the walls.
Pleasant screams fill your mind,
as you torture, slash, and grind.

Killing and maiming just for pleasure,
taking wretched life at your leisure.
Bones crumble and crunch under your feet,
rancid flesh liquefies, in the intense heat.

Bubbling and boiling is blistering skin,
entrails and innards cook from within.
Appetizing morsels, succulent feast,
for you and the other demonic beasts.

Grotesque distortions twist and turn,
the earth begins to scorch and burn.
Ribs protrude, as torsos are slashed,
echoing howls as hearts are lashed.

Eyeballs torn from their orbital cavity,
the demons cackle at their own depravity.
Tongues lacerated from held open jaws.
Master gives his ovational applause.

Soon it will be time for them to embark,
making this planet evil and dark.
Creating on earth a brand new hell,
for all of their kind to live and dwell.

Author notes

Prompt, anything to do with hell. Hope this is ok
"MCR"

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • teddybare
    April 22, 2008
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    i'm scared.. lol

    excelent deep, dark and .. excellent


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have a knack for the writings of the dark
    your flow is excellent, and your themes within are respectable...remind me to never be on your bad side


  • ShadoWarrior
    February 28, 2008

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    hellagood

    Wonderfully wicked write my friend. Death itself is an art for some. A twisted and sweet ending.I could taste the fear in this....Z


  • redsundown
    February 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    good porm!

    the armeggedeon is at hand
    it slowly sweeps acros the land
    i cant wait how bout you?
    cant wait to see if your poem rings true


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Again, this is just fantastic writing. Grim frightening and dark imagery of the demonic hoards of Hell.  The tortures bring to mind every demon created by Man, through tortures of the ages. Wonderful writing.

    Wayne Leon
    x


  • Sylvyrwyng gold member
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Darling Lady D,

    You have one very sweet piece that calls to the depraved part of all humanity. We all carry this side within, even if we deny it. We poets chose a different path... we acknowledge, accept and love this side of ourselves as well.

    I love this piece dearest, the vividness of what you have painted with words is effective, bone-chilling and wonderful to read.

    Thank you for this gift.

    Sylvyrwyng

    PS. your pic would fit perfectly with my Fiddler's Due poem... I LOVE it.


    • LadyDementia gold member
      February 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I am pleased you liked it, I do like to embrace the darkness, a lot the picture is from deviantart.com, I'm afraid that's all I know about it as a friend made the BG for me.


  • xXsoulxcollectorXx
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the words you used are very deep but very fascinating,very beautiful!!!thanks for entering the contest,but i think you should read rule # 9,please...


    • LadyDementia gold member
      January 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Opp's done it...sorry my bad...and I did read it, just forgot


  • Stormy Days
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    crap forgot the clappy's

  • Stormy Days
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow the imagery is amazing i like thie lines
    "Creating on earth a brond new hell, for all of thier king to live and dwell." this is a awsome wite


  • callmeZakk
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow the imagery was amazing in this
    -----------------------------------------
    (\ /) (\ /) (\ /) (\ /) (\ /) (\ /)
    (O.o) (O.o) (O.o) (O.o) (O.o) (O.o)
    (>">) (>">) (>">) (>">) (>">) (>">)
    /_|_\ /_|_\ /_|_\ /_|_\ /_|_\ /_|_\
    ATTACK MY ARMY OF EVIL NINJA BUNNIES!!!!!


  • Oleander
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem is so rich with imagery. I could vividly picture this hell as if I was there. It's a very well-written work. I liked it very much.


  • completely mad
    January 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh...i like this ....you make hell seem so inviteing..=) can't wait to get there ..such wonderful imagery


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thy words reach within that tortured soul where the abyss laughs and welcomes one to another day in hell!

    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the Gold!
    well deserved and well written.
    As always..you affectively captivate
    the mind and transport it
    to a frightful place !!!
    Love this hun!
    ~Pastel


  • Elenaliz
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thats it!im adding you to my favorites.you are talented.


  • stormunforcasted
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. And you said you were new at this, or atleast that's what I read on your page. That is a good write. I loved how you can feel it in side of you. I almost had to put a hand on my heart just to make sure it was still there, and nit in my stomach...Great job


  • CherryOnTop
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the bronze!!!Oh evil one.each time it is darker and more evil

  • machine
    December 14, 2007

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    Wow

    I really love everything about this poem. Great rob its really one of my favorites that I have read so far.


  • hommie-t
    December 14, 2007
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    this is so beautifully written! it is so freakin brutal its amazing


  • Bohemianwriter
    December 13, 2007

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    WOOOOAH!......

    THIS WAS UTTERLY AMAZINGGG!!!!!!!!!, UNBELIEBEABLE!!! IM REALLY SURPRISED YOU DIDNT WIN!!!!, ITS FUKIN GENIUS!!!....YOUR REALLY REALLY TALENTED!!!!...


  • Maybe.I.Am.Broken.
    December 12, 2007

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    this is a really good poem, some how I thought that it was a little funny *Devil* even though it warn't meant to be. i really enjoyed reading this piece.


    Thanks for entering and good luck,
    Annie Shadows


  • afroqban
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bubbling and boiling is blistering skin,
    entrails and innards cook from within.
    Appetizing morsels, succulent feast,
    for you and the other demonic beasts.

    that part maid me feel sick, and no im not joking. It like i smelled it or something. your work is so awesome and i had a good time reading it. i wish u well in the contest


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    December 12, 2007

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    Indeed, I agree with you... The picture suits it very well. Rhyming poems usually don't do anything for me, but this one was utterly brilliant. Well done, and good luck!


  • Tarja
    December 12, 2007

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    Very nice... intense... dark and passionate. This was an extremely gripping entry that was easy to read and enjoy. Well done and good luck.


  • Dmonik
    December 11, 2007

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    Holy cow...you wrote this about me! lmao (If you listen to my 'Familia Sinistre' anyway, lol)
    This is dark, bloody and breathtakingly beautiful (wierd, but..so am I)
    I am indeed a fan of your work!

  • piccola silver member
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this rhyme
    "Eyeballs torn from their orbital cavity,
    the demons cackle at their own depravity.

    good job and thanks for sharing with the group. This is nice and dark...grisley.


  • PainedLoner
    December 10, 2007
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    Very deep and well written. You are truely deep and it is awesome. Keep penning!

  • shawnee
    December 10, 2007
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    http://allpoetry.com/s/images/clap_s.gif

  • shawnee
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Sk8erBoi

    Bad ass keep em comin'


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Poem Dear

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