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Celestial Body

I showed him the stars last night
That rested upon
A sable terrain
Unexplored

Gravity drifted him
Over craters
That laid
Beneath the shadows

He traced the constellations
With eager fingers
Taking in moments
Unimaginable

Carried along
Curves of orbits
To the Milky Way
Then back to earth
We lay

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Precious, priceless, beautiful thoughts sometimes the poetry of a moment just hits me and there are no complex comparisons or contrasts that will emphisis the moment any more than the simple beauty of what it is. Great job. s and best wishes always... ~Genie~


  • pain is strength
    December 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering...
    i like the way you compared everything to stars...
    and the space...
    although... you could have done a bit better with the lines...
    add more to it... show more emotion...
    i will give you a bit longer to re write..

    thank you again.. and i look forward to re-reading
    this...

    love behind bars28

  • midnightblue1272
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beau-ti-ful!

    One of the best I've ever read. 'Nuff said.


  • creationsfromheart
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    awsome write

    Congrats on the gold this was just wonderful and so deserving of gold

  • imahealer
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Though sensual, this could almost be aboutg a mother and a child, exploring the mysteries of the universe. Beautifully written,I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Best wishes in this contest!
    Namaste! Shana


  • LilyRose
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Gentle Lull

    Tender loving write here with soft cloudy gentle transitions. A very soothing piece this is.


  • psychiatrists dream
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful and very sensual, well written. thanks for entering and good luck!


  • daffodilblossom
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    great read

    nice work


  • MysticalRayne
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual in a indescete way - excellent write and good luck

1 - 9 of 9