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Sheep

Went up in the hills, we were on a binge, to look for some pubs and hunt some minge,
Didn't find any beer, we just found sheep, (so fucking many, it put the Bleater to sleep)
Sheep in the fields and under the trees, sheep in the houses and under your feet
Sheep on the pavement, sheep in the car, sheep in the pubs,
We all got barred (baahed)
Sheep, everywhere, the little woolly fuckers are all over the place
Sheep, everywhere, they're fighting for the one with the prettiest face

This is what locals get up to at night,
Trying to get anthrax and make sure the ewe's tight
Sunk to the nuts while they're rodding a ram,
Just as well hung for a sheep as a lamb
Sheep shit on their foreskins and all over their suits
Little black pellets in their wellington boots
Sheep shit on their trousers, all over their flies
Don't let the farmer pull the wool over your...
Knob

Sheep, everywhere, mutton daggers at the ready and a bowl of mint sauce
Sheep, everywhere, they're going to get a bleating from the mother in law

Bleat! Baa! Moo! etc

Sheep, everywhere, all the farmer's daughters have a sheepskin coat
Sheep, everywhere, they've got to wear a woolly if they want to pull a bloke.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Douglas Ramsbottom
    December 11, 2007

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    Here in New South Wales, we have much in common with you in the mother country. The one exception is sheeplove. Who would go for a bloody lamb when there's cute wallabies about the place. Nice poem, mate.


  • LarryATilander
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    You must have been in the area

    of Madoc or Cooper Ontario, where the men are boys and the sheep walk backwards.


    • Zorro69
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I am surprised the sheep can still walk.


  • Mrs Mulholland
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    My ex-boyfriend was a beast and he would RAM it up me most nights.......................


  • Poet Gustav
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am truly offended that you assume because I am Welsh I only want to sleep with sheep. Why narrow my options?

    This was fun to read but you aren't going to win if you are English.


  • Edna Sweetlove
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A truly lovely song. Gustav will like this one a lot as he is half way to being a sheep himself (at least in intellectual terms).

    • Poet Gustav
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      baahlocks Edna

    • maccladd
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ta you never answered about my band aid song going into your contest it said it would replace the other one. anyway how do you do contests it says i need points?

1 - 9 of 9