I dressed up as a mail lady,
Called myself Laurelle and
Delivered fake mail to my family.
I used to love playing
With my goat Coco.
He had a potbelly stomach
And would sleep in a dog house.
I would dig for worms in the cold moist soil.
Catching dirt in my unpolished nails.
Now I own two cats. One is
Orange and the other mixed.
They play together outside
As if the world is great.
And when I drive down Dutch lane
I can only think of dirt and nails.
Your nails tearing away my
Belt and pants and any green left above
The flesh colored dirt.
And this memory that won’t scrub off.
I hope you find many women,
And get them all to bed.
But when you turn down the lights
And lay beside them readying yourself,
Let you see me as I was:
Lying unaware of the break
You were about to make in me.
And let some worms be limp and the others stiff
But let the first be yours when
You need it the most and
Let the second be your fingers
When you try to touch a woman
As you touched a girl that day.
A contest entry
- Your Best Pre-write of 2007 by Metaphorist.
900 points, ended January 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
just any comments..throw 'em at me
Comments
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This is really sad. I personally believe that any crime against a child should be punished as harshly as if they had murdered someone. Because in a way they did, they kill the childs innocence and that is unforgivible. And they should never be allowed to walk free because that gives them the opportunity to hurt another child. This is a great write. I can really relate to your pain.
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Yeah, this is was great until the last line. It came out of nowhere and, while I imagine that was your intention, it leaves too many questions unanswered. But I loved the spiteful tone of this piece especially in the third stanza as well as the disturbing images of worms interwoven throughout.
Thanks for entering. Good luck in my contest and in the New Year. -
I always say "no list-i-ku", and in a way, this is sort of a list. But you made the idea of listing things in your life work for the poem. I'm not sure the last couple lines work for me. I'm not sure if it's just how it's written, or what is written, but it read a little confusing, and I was left asking myself "what day? what girl?". It just seemed to come out of left field, like you were trying too hard to make the connection between the last and first stanzas. However, the rest of the last stanza was beautiful and hurtful and all the things a good stanza should embody. Thanks for entering.
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I love the first verse. The early childhood memories appear with clarity and with feeling. The second stanza seems more distant, I think that's intentional and i like that effect. It's the third I get a bit lost in! Reads like a curse....wow.....the former/latter first/second aspect of it threw me at first but i gave it another read and grasped it much better. a perfect curse for an ugly person.
good emotive poem.
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