You've got my heart in your hand
With just a flick or your wrist
You could give me life
Or with just a flick of your palm
Darken my whole world
You move your hands
And my whole world turns dark
I gave u my heart
My heart that once
Had such love and passion
That once had need and wants
Hopes of better days
I gave u my heart
Now filled with darkness
Now dripping hate
Apathetic truths
No needs
Wants
Or dreams of life
My heart
Now in the dirt
Among the waste
Pressed in the sands
You left it there on the beach
I lay here
Darkness all around
Slowly i sink
Shadows fill my veins
Waiting for you to bring back my heart
You had my heart in your hand
You left my heart here in the sand
A contest entry
- for Romantic Dreamers ~~ OPEN TO ALL! by PassionsPromise.
1800 points, ended April 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~♥~ Hopeless Romantics and Other Sad Love Poems ~♥~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This is a great piece! I love how you used that phrase ("You've got my heart in your hand") to come up with a very original and create poem. The first stanza reflects that originality a lot and I like it a lot. One thing I noticed was that you used "u" instead of "you" in the poem, and I think it would have been more effective to use the latter instead. I really like how you have a couplet at the end of this because it makes that last two lines very powerful and the lines also reflect the poem well. Great job and good luck in the contest!
-
This was just a dark and deep piece. A wonderfully penned one full of emotion. Please least option and name in author notes. Thanks and good luck,
Passions
Adding your comment:
