An old farmer who dies in his fields
Is overtaken by the grass
That feeds his sheep.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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The brevity works really well here (and, although this has nothing to do with the mechanics of your poem, I love the background colour). The one gripe I have is the passive construction of the second line, which weakens the overall effect of the poem, but otherwise, good work & good thoughts!
hiraeth. -
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Yes, thanks, perhaps replacing "is" with "gets" will help it to become less passive.
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epigram
i enjoyed this epigram very much. it is a complete poem and in its brevity contains a lot more than many poems on offer here at AP.
i like irony in poetry because it's a considered and mature kind of humour, and this epigram is swimming in irony!
much enjoyed,
myron.
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hmm, very short, straight and to the point. Its always interesting how so much can be said with so little words. Its sad, pulling at the heart strings. Great image though, the background you've chosen compliments the poem. it really emphasizes that continous circle of life as well, as the farmer tends his sheep, he feeds them with his own body.. its almost spriritual. great job here!
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I REALLY LIKED IT BECAUSE IT WAS SHORT AND TO THE POINT AND IT SPEAKS THE TRUTH
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Very impressed
This is great! Short but sweet and capturing some really interesting ideas, I especially like your style and choice of lanuage. Well done.
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this poem feels like there should be more. I don't have a problem with short poetry, but this just doesn't have enough! It is an interesting concept however. The idea of the cycle of life where the dead farmer feeds his sheep, it's interesting.
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Well done on this one. Short but sweet. You really said a lot in such a few lines.
Good job.
Keep up the good writing.
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