`
You have told me
Your family
embraces the shade of blue
for hundreds of years
You hated its spectra
and love the breakdown
of its hue -
as green and yellow
My curious tongue
force you to scribble
the reasons
That behind that door
you store either silence
or screaming dreams
Your stillness shows
the former
and your red eyes
the latter
`
Author notes
Written December 9, 2007
A contest entry
- through the blue door by Cat.
700 points, ended December 12, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Mary asked me to help her judging this contest - therefore my comment here. But I always enjoy your poetry - so I'm happy that I have the opportunity to read this blue poem too.
A very different take on the contest theme and I liked your voice here - it has an authentic feel to it. Some great visuals and use of colour here too!
~ Nicolette
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very different, interesting and indeed a poem that leaves us thinking. the only thing that had me stumble just slightly, i think, were things such as "hundred of years". That normally is given in context as "hundreds of years" in the expression most often used. Still, I stress, that is my brain not being able to wrap around an interpretation that I merely haven't seen as much. So... perhaps I should be thanking you for opening my eyes to the twists that poetry brings to us that we sometimes don't expect to find.
Very well done and some great visuals in this one for me. There was so much to like about this.
Kim
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Thanks for the honest comment. I must agree with the hundreds of years line. I am thinking of that line when I created this yesterday. Now, my thoughts are justified.
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first of all- before i comment on this piece
i just want to thank you for being so generous in your comments to the others in this contest..
so nice that.
i really like this piece and it's
attitude and effective creativity- i like the breakdown of blue into yellow and green
there are some puncuation errors which stand out to me
(partial sentences punctuated with periods)
but i think you've done a really nice job here.. very nice
m -
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I agree after reading the piece a couple of times. The period is quite off. I removed the punctuation and let it flow. Hope that'll add an effect.
Thanks so much
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I must say...your poetry is getting much more impressive...im impressed...excellent write...
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