I understand

It isn't about you
What I am about to write
Is something that has nothing to do with you
It is something I would wish I never realized

Leaning against a building
I look into pale blue eyes
something I thought I had seen for the first time
Purity
Truth,
And yet, when I spoke back
words felt fake, motions felt wrong
everything was something I wish I didn't see

You didn't want safty
You wanted danger,
living risky, living to die
You didn't want to love me
You wanted to fuck me

You didn't want romance or trust
you wanted unexpectant love songs
without interference of what would be
It isn't that I think about you

Its that I think about it...
about everything I gave up to trust you
To pretend that you were better..
I convince myself that being liked was enough
That everything you said made it all better

I make things change I guess
I make your world spin in different directions
I confuse you, and I wasn't meant to be with you
You weren't that great
I don't know why I thought you were
But it worked in my mind

Everything did
and in a way I think things would be better
without ego
without expectations
Just let me know
I whispered
I gave you access to everything
and currently you use nothing...

I understand its hard to try and think about it
but it is something that you must face
or forever be troubled by
I am not writing about you

I am writing for you
I am writing to get you to see