drip.
drop.
drip.
drop.
watch the water fall from the shower head.
watch it roll along the ivory skin
and lovingly trace the angular bones that used to be your curves.
recall your lover that you had to leave when the plague -
g.a.s.p.
like cruel razors the sickness lacerates
lungs and throat...then the cough from hell.
crimson s p latt er s
the too clean tile
[retch]
disgusting chunks of bloodied, dying tissue
plop onto the porcelain
(Nurse, please report to aquatherapy room six.)
Author notes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuberculosis
I'm rather fond of alliteration.
A contest entry
- I Really Wish This Terminal Illness Would End by Chelsea Void.
525 points, ended January 6, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
you present such a graphic and moving picture of what the illness must be like.
Good write and congrats on the HM.
-
-
Thank youuu.
-
-
As much as I liked the wording, I didn't like the artsy effects added...it falls under the "dirty pretty" category for me and, being a little bit of a traditionalist, I don't like the style.
The imagery was there vividly without the symbols.
I really liked the concept and otherwise thought it was great. -
-
Do you want me to remove the symbols for the contest?
-
-
I appreciate the richness of images. This is what illness looks and sounds like. Skillful reality.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Exquisite morbidity
Ah, my little angel has found her way to my neck of the woods, hmmmm? *grins* A scrumptious perspective on a victim of tuberculosis. I could hear the wet, raspy breathing, like tiny pieces of glass trying to shove their way into your lungs; the almost demonic rumbling of phlegm and blood and decay consummating in the middle of your chest; and then, the climax: a wretched hack, your life splattered on pristine porcelain...
I smiled throughout.
Beautiful penmanship, and what lovely imagery, ^_^. I love the way that you played with the words in the end stanza, very creative. Of course I loved this. *hugs and smooches* Hope to see more soon. And thank you for your comment on 'Nymph Seduction'; it is officially complete, now that your mark resides there. Loving you, ma petite.
~S.
-
-
Teehee..Yes, I would have told you before, but I wanted it to be a surprise. ^_^
Surpriiiisseee.
Thank you, for the comment, hon. You've no idea how big I smiled.
Loving you
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
