Beneath scorching desert heat
Bedouin poets lie silently decaying,
only their words finding sanctuary
on once worshiped Ka'ba stones.
For Mohamed feared a poet's satire,
disturbed by the mystery and enigma of phrases
that could turn conflict into peace
and incite anger to rival all would be Gods.
Hence he scorned their wayward muse
casting them forth into history's catacombs,
to become known as unbelievers,
detractors of spiritual light.
But poetry could not be so easily destroyed
by religion's fanatic rhetoric,
as its language tightly entwined
into the fabric of lives,
with lyrically spoken lore.
Transcending moments of flesh and searing blood,
to soar in verses filled with hope and dreams,
while truth stirred Persian sands into poetic walls,
that Islam would fail to ever tear down.
And Islam wrote "Repent, Repent, Repent!"upon them,
as poetry shifted underground with nuance and innuendo,
its resourceful pen purging its forced anguish
with hyperboles of text, screaming
censorship's deepest resentment.
Author notes
POW
In Persia (todays Iran) poets where honored, feared and praised. This was before the Islamic faith and the teachings of Mohamed said that poets where unbelievers, that their voice was a blasphemy and that they should be destroyed because in fact they feared the strength of the poetic voice and thus scorned and cursed a poet's muse.
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
1250 points, ended December 11, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Congrats on the gold with this beautiful write!
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incredible... a history lesson imaginatively taught - a passionate voice creatively expressed...
congratulations!
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Congrats. on the Gold! Well-done.
I loved the wording in this - and learning from your AN, very interesting.
I really loved the wording in the first verse of this.
Congrats. again.
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Anything written that's even remotely "historic" has never been something I'm crazy about. But...I have been blessed to find a couple of poets who can take a subject like this and give it so much intensity, that I can't help but keep reading. Congrats to now be among those few and rare poets.
Your balance of imagery, information, and feeling is wonderful. ~E's critique covers so many of my thoughts, I don't feel I have a lot to add. I'd like to see more emphasis put on "repent, repent" in the last stanza, maybe put it in quotations with an exclamation point, but otherwise I have no further suggestions.
Your poem really brings to light the power and importance of poetry, and should remind each of us to never underestimate the influence our words can have. A great entry, and thanks so much for sharing it in the POW.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J. -
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excellent point about the "repent, repent". You put a finger on the thoughts I couldn't quite identify about that line. An exclamation point would add beautifully, also perhaps quotation marks around it.
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You have some excellent critiques below, those of EnAttendant are excellent.
Writing a poem that gives so much information without becoming prosy and preachy is a difficult task and you'vew handled it well.
Good luck,
Jim -
Couple grammar/punctuation mistakes in there, so do a quick rereading. (i.e., it should be hyperboles not hyperbole's)
I liked the title a lot. One of the best I've seen. You went so far beyond the usual “just pluck a line from the poem and use that as a title.”
Some awkward line breaks towards the end which I do think added a certain emphatic tone. The rest was pretty much spot-on as far as flow.
The only other criticism I have is some of the repeated words, i.e, sand or wall. I recommend avoiding repetition of words as much as possible.
So much gorgeous imagery I can't even begin to go into that. My personal favourite has to be:
“Transcending moments of flesh and searing blood, /to soar in verses filled with hope and dreams,”
but all of the imagery and symbolism and metaphor was just beautifully done. Bravo, poet! -
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Thanks for the review, so glad you enjoyed it. I will change the hyperboles after judging, I had it correct the first time, the spell checker for some reason insists that it is with the comma, lol.
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Wow ~
I want to thank you for sharing with us some incredible information through your Poetic Voice ~
I shall let my scoreboard be the Judge here ~
All I have to say about this entry thus far, is that some of your lines seem to just quit....and then they pick right back up...hendering your Flow....IMO ~
Other than that, I wish you well with your talents and entry ~
Bear ~
Title 10
Flow 9.75
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 9.8
Grammar 9.8
Presentation 9.85
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 99.2
Awesome job ~
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Typo in authors note
DISQUALIFICATION!!!
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too funny lol
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Actually........
..........it is sort of funny...hehe
Bear ~
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Awesome subject. Quite surprising and unique, actually. I don't know that I have read any other work on this subject matter. But then, you always have a way of pulling out something new.
I love the way you interwove imagery fitting to the subject, history, and geography. You gave the piece a Persian "look" and "feel" of sorts without sacrificing your bold statement against the treatment of the poets and poetry. I'm not sure I am articulating just what I mean to say, but anywho, i like what you did!
Excellent, daring ending. Very fitting and impacting. Another great work!
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Wonderful, as usual......
Very interesting write. One learns something new, everyday! (at least this one does).
Write on! Best wishes in the contest!
*PEACE*
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this is
Interesting to say the lest, hey Bunny it been awhile sense I read one of your poems, and as the others I have read you are an awesome Poet, and never cess to amaze me with your talent. This is an interesting topic ir sure has me thinking thank you .....joe
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fantastic
great poem, beautifully written and a very interesting and refreshing subject to tackle. well done indeed.
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