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Him

As I think of him
The wind curls around my feet...
Crimson demons float around my face-
Teasing me, flitting from disfigured devils
To darkly beautiful insects, butterflies...
Leaves, dripping from gnarled oaks...
Feathers, lost from some unknown phoenix above...
My wedding dress turns from
Pristine, perfect white into
A hideous, twisted, molten black...
Small, distorted wings sprout
From my back,
Filling me with increased agony...
I think of him once more...
My feet lift from the
Bubbling ground, darkness swirling around
My tiny, bare feet... 
Anger, deep, intense anger
Fills me as my mind's
Maze is solved.
The only path
Is to
Him.

Author notes

I chose Picture A.
Also, I am eleven, if that helps with judging.

A contest entry

Please critique- I can take truthful comments...

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Comments


  • leander Moderators member
    December 31, 2007

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    For an eleven year old, you did a marvellous job writing this poem. Good use of poetic devices -> alliteration, and I like that
    there are also quite some interesting images captured inside the lines!
    Thanks for the entry, and I wish you the best of luck!
    Leander


  • Hope Angel silver member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have such a great use of words. The imagry you you create in incredible. I love this peice. Better yet I adore, revere, love, bless this peice. Great job!
    ~Jade~
    P.S. I hate when everybody acts all suprised that kids can write well... I mean we can. I am thirteen. Great job!


  • PerfectImperfection
    December 12, 2007

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    After reading your author's comments; I just cannot believe you are eleven years old, and have such ability to write as you obviously do. Regardless of the information, after reading this, my first thoughts were that is was a nicely expressed piece. There are so many different emotions woven into the imagery, with sadness coursing through. Great write! Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!