I just paid ten dollars
To watch a movie about the poor
I just paid ten dollars
While hungry people I ignored
I just paid ten dollars
To eat a meal that could feed two
I just paid ten dollars
Then watched you do the same thing too
I just slept eight hours
In a bed that could fit three
I just slept eight hours
And dreamt of all that I could be
I just slept eight hours
While 8000 starved people died
I just slept eight hours
And I'll do the same again tonight
A contest entry
- Nonexistant God by MessedupMarionette.
700 points, ended January 4, 2008, 3 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This is good--something that I think most everyone can relate to. The notes I do have are that the form of the poem is a little basic. The rhyming could've been improved upon. The repeating lines is good but not wildly great. The poem is very frank and in-your-face, which I like--It's blatantly honest.
thanks for entering my contest! -MUM
PS: the line "Then watched you do the same thing to" should be "too" -
its crazy to think about how much we have, and then we look at the tv and see the commercials about starvng children. if you think about how much food we waste, how much water we waste, and just how wasteful we are, its pertty sad. there are people who would scrape up that food, soak up that water, and eat/drink it. this poem touches me, and i hope it touches many more out there. good job. you wrote an awesome poem!
keep up the good work
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Sad but true
Yes this is sad but it happens every day, But ya know, at least you think about it. Tis the season.
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