In the moment before sunrise and as nature holds its breath,
staining sleepy skies with subtle hues;
when the air is fringed with fever like a born-again believer~
a transformation tinged with transverse tones;
When the spangled net of Pisces draws its diamonds from the sky
leaving servile high sea sailors lost from sight,
and the waning moon now wallows in its horoscopic hollows,
and feebly fading, follows in their wake;
As birds on branches brace themselves for breaking out in song
with tantalising trills and rousing riffs,
their nature will embellish with environmental relish
the hellish hallowed stupour of the night;
And everywhere around us the anticipation grows
for something quite profound is taking place,
the night owl fluffs its feathers while the donkey chews its tethers
and in their nest of heathers stir the mice.
In the moment before sunrise as a new day lifts its head,
while the weary and the wise dream dwindling dreams,
a girl was newly born half a decade hence, one morn,
Margaret G: “Happy Birthday!” may I say?
Author notes
I had to enter this piece as a 'new poem', although in fact it has been adapted from an exisiting poem ~ thought I had better be honest there! It is one of my favourites ~ not because I think it's particularly spectacular, but because it plays with rhythm and internal rhyme, both of which I love in poetry.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Margaret G! Great milestone to reach, so I hope you have a lovely day and are indulgently spoiled by your family and friends!
In a list
A contest entry
- Allpoetry: If you know MargaretG please enter. by Lyndon.
1780 points, ended December 17, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Read aloud,
Lou, this poem sounds rather special as a poem rather than, as you yourself say, a Margaret Birthday Tribute. However, like Margaret, I too waited with anticipation until "all" was revealed.
Ron. -
Ah, sweetly done, so lovely!
Every line a delight... much enjoyed. 
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Alas, yet another poem agoinizing to the eyes!
I too have a great appreciation of internal rhyme... and it is particularly appropriate to Margaret since she is currently living in Ukraine, whose national poet-hero (Taras Shevchenko) made great and subtle use of it.
The rhythm.... well, I regret it does not really work for me, as it evokes memories of Kipling's "It is fear, O little hunter, it is fear!"... Soory, that is just a personal reaction, and probably most people are not brought up on Kipling nowadays...
I am not really sure that reference to Pisces really works here - since Margaret was born under Sggitarius.
Nevertheless, insofar as I can read it, it is an interesting tribute... -
This is brilliant! Superb imagery, rhythm and flow. Well done and good luck!
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Very inter-resting
thoughts and a lovely dedication to Margaret G for her birthday. I enjoyed the subtle tones and the way your shared imagery kept me reading. Your chosen form was balanced and oft times I find that when rewriting an old poem and bringing it in line with new thoughts makes for a grand new poem. Nice gift! joy
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anticipation
mounts with each line until I'm ready to scream - and then you reveal it! This is really wonderful verse, and I love the rhyme in the third lines, thank you so much for modifying it for this gathering.
My husband is spoiling me completely with a catered party - I'm so lucky to have so many friends.
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Awww you are showing your sweetness again, what a lovely dedication too... special milestone, special poem from a special lady.... gorgeous hun
Karen
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