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Belov'd Sea

Missing image

I hath found traces of

  solace, encrusted in coral

   serenity, 'pon chiseled stone.

 

 

I hath found aqua blue,

  encompassed in divinity;

    amidst swells of promise.

 

 

I hath found, cradled within

  thy bosom, true melody; to

    seduce; to beckon; to enthrall.

 

 

I hath found tranquility, adrift

  in prisms of quintessential pearls;

    cupped in treasures, sunken.

 

 

I hath found gems, softly

  lapping 'pon myne face; to

    cherish; to covet in purity, aglow.

 

 

I didst hear thy beckon, milady.

  All that I am, I giveth unto

    thee ~ myne belov'd sea.

Author notes

This is about a seafaring mariner of centuries passed, who has devoted the remainder of his life and love to his beloved sea. He cherishes her, without question. He writes daily in his journal about his beloved, Isabella, that he lost at sea. To be closer to her, he has found that he has developed a connection with the sea that he never knew existed, and in some romantic twist of irony, he has, as if by magic, rekindled the love he once shared with his beloved.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 67 of 67

  • Nom de Plume
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    I had to read after seeing the title...my favourite stanza the 3rd one, I can hear her soft serenade as she laps against the shore at night, the sound of breakers upon mornings first breaking light, the gentle swell of her powerful, tidal might, the salt, the smell, the reflection of her is a most beautiful sight... truly enjoyed this, the pieces of her that appeal to you do so also to me...
    Cheers


    • Knight70 silver member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much for these gracious comments.

      This really made my morning brighter.


      Don


  • Desire gold member
    September 26

    Edit | Reply

    Precious~

    Wow!!

    Oh My Word this is a Gem~ Love the Energy
    also the Emotions You release in fine ink
    Bravo my Friend!!
    This swells the eyes~ allows the tears to fall
    with a smile~
    Congratulations on Your Trophies
    -throws confetti-
    Woot~

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in the other Contests
    with love & light~ Desire~*~

    • Knight70 silver member
      October 5
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much, Desire.

      I love all the emoticons in your comments. I wish I could give you 5 stars, but my computer won't let me rate comments lately.

      Don


  • taylorndncar gold member
    September 25

    Edit | Reply
    as a land-locked oklahoman (and former Marine), i love the sea and its lexicon and i love the classical masters of it; i find this effort wanting in structural style and while i understand the nature of the subject-matter and growing emotional capacity, the structural "lightness" of the first verses (stanzas) cannot excuse the "heaviness" of the ending verses (unless, this growth of vocabulary in the sailor's writings used either dates, or numbers, showing separating entries into his journal). as it stands now, it is confusing to the reader. straightening out this minor flaw, i would consider trying to sell this effort; it is that good...!


  • grampabob1946 silver member
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful!!!

    Enchanting!!!


  • Taka Shira
    September 25
    Edit | Reply
    elegant with words


  • XLadyElinorX
    September 25

    Edit | Reply
    well. . .after reading everyone's comments and noting the differences in opinion, I'm thinking of what to say. . .my thought is that this is a beautiful poem, yes - I like the sound and the form perhaps more that the actual meaning - in my opinion, if you made it less abstract and gave it more of a ballad-like feel, and changed the "I hath"s (it would still sound old and romantic, I assure you), it would definitely improve. I hope that helps - good work, poet, and keep writing

    ♠ Lady Elinor

  • hendiadys
    September 25

    Edit | Reply

    Astonishing!

    I have flipped through these many flattering comments with growing incredulity. "I hath" is totally wrong. So is "I giveth". So is "I didst". "'pon" for "upon" is ugh! "Myne" is fake mediaeval. ."prisms of quintessential pearls" is meaningless. You're just piling up pretty words in the hope they''ll sound good. Sorry, it's bad, bad, bad. There appears to be an option to delete adverse criticism. I expect you''ll be using it. I'll look back to see.

    • Knight70 silver member
      September 28
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for your honesty.

      I enjoy writing in Olde English from time to time. I can't say that I agree with your comments on it being "meaningless." However, I can certainly appreciate your honesty, as I am always open to constructive criticism.

      Don


      • thelordreigns gold member
        September 28
        Edit | Reply
        I think that "prisms of quintessential pearls" is a stunning image especially now that I have read the phrase in context to the whole poem.

        Beautifully done. As an English teacher, who loves to SCUBA dive, you have definitely captured my attention dear poet!

        - joanne -


  • LittleMoon silver member
    September 25

    Edit | Reply
    This brought a tear or two. Beautiful and as my father was a sailor all his life and buried at sea, it made me think of him. I had so little time with him, his life was the navy but I loved and cherished every minute of time we had. Thank you, it was a privilege to read. Sheila

  • Bunny Baldwin
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I could feel the ocean waves

  • Bunny Baldwin
    September 25
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    I really like the personification of the sea as a lover, one who compells the heart and mind of a enamored seafarer. This write is quite exquisite, the imagery, word selection, and depth of emotion(no pun intended). Write on my friend.

    Dennis

    • Knight70 silver member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much, Dennis.

      This is one of my absolute favorites. I'm working on something from Isabella's perspective. So far, it's all been Jean-Luc mourning her, so it should be really fun to write from her perspective after she has passed.

      Don


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    This piece of yours reminds me of my dad - who was also a seaman and who saw many things. The imagery within this piece is really beautiful. Stunning writing here, made me believe I was there within the sea. Very well done.

    Wayne Leon

    • Knight70 silver member
      July 5
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      I'm so glad that this reminded you of your dad. I lost my dad to a brain aneurysm in 1991. It's nice to see others speak so proudly of their parents. I've had a love for the sea since I was 18 when I joined the U.S. Navy. This is one of my personal favorites, so I love that it's appreciated.

      I remember reading one of yours about two years ago, I think, shortly after I joined up with AP. It had something to do with a U.F.O. It was so cool to read. I'll have to read up on more of yours. My computer has been on the blitz lately from a virus, but it's working okay this morning. Let me see if I can read one without my computer freezing.

      Don


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully done!!!

    Soft & tender yet as passionate as the ocean of which you write...
    Impressive as always...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well penned, well versed, well done!!!

    • Knight70 silver member
      July 2

      Edit | Reply

      Thank you, Fritz.

      This is one of my favorites. I definitely have an affinity for the sea, I guess. I'm writing my first novel (a contemporary romance called Dearest Sophia) that is somewhat inspired by this poem. It's set in modern times, though. It's in pieces on my computer at the moment.

      Don


  • Deindichter
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    True to yourself this poem is purely natural and beautiful, I love the ideas you portrayed here, reminds me of a seafarers hymn where everything the protagonist of the poem is, is in the sea, without it he is nothing.

    • Knight70 silver member
      June 11
      Edit | Reply

      I'm smiling from ear to ear reading these comments.

      I'm going to be writing a sequel to this one eventually. This sea captain has many more entries to make, after losing his beloved Isabella.

      Don


  • individuality gold member
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    I do not mean to be rude but probably will be - hath? When I speak to people, I never say - hath thee bought me a loafeth of bread today?


  • liquidmindforever gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    Dear Poet,

    Thank you for entering my contest: PREWRITES
    FOR BRONZE & SILVER TROPHY WINNERS, ONLY
    with your submission BELOV'D SEA.

    Wishing you the best in my contest

    Till then
    stay
    liquid
    finalist

  • Mercury Rising
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    Just a fabulous Olde English poem of the sea, that I know is near and dear to your heart and in your blood.
    Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful talent.


    • Knight70 silver member
      May 7
      Edit | Reply

      You're welcome, David.

      I always come away profoundly moved by your work.


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    back to this poem!!

    that picture is just beautiful and out of this world!!

    such elegant amazing style.. I may have to try this one out my love.

    x

    • Knight70 silver member
      May 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      I loved this picture the moment I saw it. I wish I had the link to where it came from, but it was a photo prompt from a contest, and it didn't have a link. I'd love to see what you could do with the picture. This entire poem came right from the artwork. That image reminds me a lot of the coral reefs off the coast of Curacao in the Netherlands. Man, did I get the worst sunburn of my life there! I forgot how much quicker you get burned when you're underwater the whole time.


  • Knight70 silver member
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    Wow! Thank you!

    That is a compliment that just made my morning brighter, especially on this very rainy morning.


  • SteveS gold member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    I like especially "traces of solace encrusted in coral"
    The theme reminds me of the song Brandy, which is an old favorite. Nice write.


    • Knight70 silver member
      May 6
      Edit | Reply

      It must be too early this morning.

      I just applauded my own poem! Your compliment just made my morning brighter, Steve. Thank you.

  • DinkyDiver gold member
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    amid swells of promise Ummm I like that line!!

    Tranquility and being adrift are definitly great words to describe the oceans magick

    I really enjoyed reading this ; thankyou for the link huni, and welldone on those shiny's that you have

    x

    I dont normally understand / like old english but this did flow really well


  • Tristan Storm
    April 22

    Edit | Reply

    Oh my!

    My word! You have seriously outdone yourself. I absolutely love it. The imagery paints the most tranquil of pictures, overflowing with love and need.

    AND obviously you have my hooked as I love the old english writing as well!

    My dear friend, again very well done! An excellent read, thanks for suggesting it!

    Keep well

    Tristan

    • Knight70 silver member
      April 22
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much, Tristan.

      I love to write in Olde English whenever I get the chance. I have a few of them. There was something about they way they talked back then that was poetic in itself.


  • Riftkin gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Best of luck in my contest..
    This is just the first time looking at all
    the poems in my contest .. please do not respond.

    Riftkin


  • haikumonk gold member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent write.... enjoyed it thoroughly. Congrats too!

    • Knight70 silver member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you very much, haikumonk, for your comment on Belov'd Sea.

      This is one of my favorites. I haven't written any poems lately, since I am hard at work on my very first novel. I'm on a library computer, and running out of time. I'll have to remind myself to read some more of your poems when I get my new computer next month. I love reading your haiku. I get so inspired when I read it, especially by poets who really understand it like you do.


  • libithina
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Haunting melody

    of the lilting waves of the beckoning sea, 'lapping' gently to 'cherish'.This is a 'gem' decked in 'quintessential pearls' spilling o'er the page straight into the core where it sparkles with treasured splendour. Lib x


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    January 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the Olde English, very beautifully written piece, emotional and captivating. hugs, Bunny

    • Knight70 silver member
      January 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you very much, Bunny.

      I'm so swamped with college right now that I haven't been able to visit AP much at lately. Your comments on this poem are greatly appreciated. I absolutely love to read and write sea poetry. Don


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oooh I like this one tis very nice I love olde english to butt haven't used it that much lol I will eventually though. cara


  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I just had to read it again

  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is simply breath-taking.
    I was completely enthralled
    in this exquisite write.
    Congrats on the silver!
    I'ts always delightful
    to read your well crafted words.
    Thanks for sharing.
    ~Pastel


  • Ladybug
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    true true poetry!

    this is truly a gift

    Tamara


  • Salt Therapy
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Damn.


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I adore this write...I love every single line..sighs
    This is really incredible , such amazing imagery and I adore this language...of course you knew that..lol...
    But honestly I think this is one of my fave pieces now..smiles
    The whole piece is simply amazing...bravo my dear brother...
    Peace and many blessings
    ~A~

  • silverfish
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i am interested in all your poems dealing with the seven seas. look forward to free verse rendering of your experience with ocean storms as a sailor. signed, vicarious me. tks. -r

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much, Redphish!

      This comment gave me a really good idea for another sea poem. I sure know exactly those North Atlantic storms were up close and personal. I was a deckhand in the Navy, and one of my jobs was to stand watches on the bridge, to steer the ship. It sure was a challenge in really rough seas. Standing lookout in rough seas was always fun, to say the least. I always got pummeled by a wall of frigid seas in the North Atlantic, more than anything. There were times, I thought we would capsize for sure, and our destroyer was over 500 feet long, and filled with 400+ sailors. I've got some brainstorming to do on this one. Don


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I didst hear thy beckon, milady...
    Ahh there is no mistaking the call of the sea to that of a seafaring man.
    Don - you have penned beautifully here. An excellent piece. ~Pamela

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you, Pamela!

      This is one of my favorite sea poems I've written so far. There are so many forms that I want to eventually incorporate into my sea poetry. Don


  • Justusdreams
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This touches so many levels of emotion and the storyline is impeccable. I really love the authors notes, how they give depth to the poem itself. It reminds me of older poetry. The greats were always able to tell such a vivid story. This is beyond excellent.

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much.

      I love to read and write about the sea, almost more than any other writing, and I love Olde English, so it's really nice when I get a chance to combine them. A while back, I wrote a short poem about a bottle washed ashore that had a centuries-old tale of two midnight lovers. This poem spun-off that short poem. My wife loves the book, Message in a Bottle, so I put a whole new twist on the bottle concept. This bottle is full of antiquated journal entries, written by a sea captain, who lost his beloved at sea.

      Anyway, I have to go finish studying for a final tomorrow. Don


  • irishmidnight
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My God this is BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm without words....**stutters** ...The imagery you get..you can nearly smell the sea...see all of it's beauty!! This is by far one of your best Don...And you're right...it brought a smile to my face!! **laughs**

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      That just makes me smile. This is my favorite sea poem I've written. I sure do appreciate the feedback on this. I'm so glad it brought a smile to your face, too. Don

  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is gorgeous!!
    The Old English is
    irresistible!
    Your word choices
    are just perfect--
    telling your story with
    Drama and Passion!
    Outstanding!
    ~Pastel

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much, Pastel.

      Your comments always make me smile from ear to ear. You have been a profound influence on me, especially since I am so new to writing poetry. Don


  • going nowhere
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this just melts my heart... *deep sigh with far away stare*

    • Knight70 silver member
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much!

      This is my personal favorite sea poem I've written. A few months ago, I posted a very short poem about a bottle washed ashore that has a centuries-old tale of two midnight lovers inside. This is what I would imagine was in that bottle. I just feel so inspired whenever I look at the sea. Don


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome work with some wonderful imagery
    here Don! You've a written a lovely story
    here. Thanks a lot for sending this one
    my way. Take care and keep up the wonderful
    work here my friend! Always a pleasure to
    read you!




    Jeremy0826


  • Death of the Author
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I hath found traces of
    solace, encrusted in coral
    serenity, 'pon chiseled stone.

    Oh. My. God. I LOVE THAT...it's perfect, one of the best verses I've read, not just from you but from anyone on this site. Actually screw that, I like the second verse just as much - I'm bookmarking this and I practically NEVER bookmark poems...your best work? Ooo it's got some good competition, but I really think it might be. Your love for the sea shines through wonderfully.

    encompassed in divinity - Gahhh - beautiful!

    true melody; to
    seduce; to beckon; to enthrall. - the sound of the waves? Excellent

    prisms of quintessential pearls; - my favourite line in the whole piece I think...well apart from the first stanza

    The 5th stanza is also perfect...

    I giveth unto
    thee ~ mine belov'd sea. - a marvellous ending.

    Well you certainly have painted a masterpiece here. Have a good day, take care! x





    • Knight70 silver member
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you, George!!

      These comments just made my day. This is my personal favorite sea poem, as well as being my favorite one in Olde English. You hit the nail on the head with the sound of the waves being the "melody" I wrote about. To this seafaring mariner, the sounds of his beloved sea are music in every way. As much as he loves his beloved, who he lost at sea, he has found a new love, in his quest to be closer to the one he lost. I really love this. I think I will add more to it when the muse strikes. I've just been writing for a little under a year now, so I feel like my writing has come a long way. I sure do appreciate the applause. I guess you could say the sea is my K.I.T.T.

      • Death of the Author
        December 9, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        Aww I'm glad The Olde English worked perfectly for this

        The sea really is like music...sometimes calm and peaceful, sometimes vicious and dramatic.

        You know what, I'm going to be bold and say don't add to it! It's perfect the way it is...maybe you could write a "sequel" of sorts that continues...but I think it's the best it can be as it is.

        Nice analogy hehe

        Take care x


  • Emile
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    The story line flows smoothly and sets the pace for this poem. You paint a picture with words that bring your memories alive in the reader's mind, and we too can appreciate a love for the sea. This is a beautiful story, laid out well and described with feeling, written from the heart. Your work shouts of passion melded with pain, longing the forbidden fruit of the sea.

1 - 67 of 67