Her lips cracked
Like a dry river basin,
Stitched together
By threads of uncertainty
Words welled on her tongue
And she swallowed them
Behind those
Pursed, parched
[Kiss me or shut up] lips
A contest entry
- parched lips by adsaige.
300 points, ended January 13, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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judged
thank you for this contest entry. first off...i'm not sure about the ending, seeing as i think that the ending could have been better. my sugguestion: edit the ending. perhaps you could have said something as "peeling, wanting lips?" -
Absolutely fucking awesome.
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I like the uncertainty.
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Wow, this is such a strong metaphor, this is just perfect: "Stitched together
By threads of uncertainty
Words welled on her tongue
And she swallowed them" Excellent, good luck in the contest!
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