I've stumbled upon an amazing discovery
and some of you may think that I'm mad
But bear with me and I'll try to explain
a bizarre and amazing realization I had.
When I'm sitting around doing nothing,
the damn telephone never rings at all
But if I go to the bathroom for a minute,
everyone I've ever known decides to call!
I'm telling you - there's a connection!
It rings every time I sit on the throne!
Then I have to hurry the paperwork
Because people won't leave me alone!
If I'm lonely, all I have to do is sit down
and try to work up a little brown jobbie.
It may sound strange, even gross, to you
But hey, everyone needs a hobby!
The Latin name is "Poopus Interruptus"
and you're the first to hear it, right here!
It will also be known as "Rickerby's Law"
and added to encyclopedia's next year!
In a list
A contest entry
- FUNNY POETRY by Olivia33.
300 points, ended December 11, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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LOL! ...And Ewwwww!
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Cool
This happens to me as soon as I go outside to hang out the washing. The distance from the washing line to the phone is just long enough so that the phone stops ringing the minute I lay my hand on it. In fact sometimes all I have to do is think about hanging out the washing and the phone rings. Its uncanny!
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Thanks, Bex. Now would you stop reading my gross poems, please! I have written a few nice, flowery ones, you know! haha
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Yup! It's a conspiracy. Or if a nap is your heart's desire, every friend who ever uttered a complaint wants your ear!
Mad? Delightfully so! Too much sanity...well, let's just say, could put ya in a bind.
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L M A O
this is too cute and freakin true! There is no peace anymore.
Thank you for sharing your wit, this was fun to read!
blessings,
MIchelle
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Awesomely funny!!
And blimy bloody well true
Well done ... all ye who count upon the throne to be one of solitude take heed yer' day of interuptus... shall be coming forthus Brava!!
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lol Thanks, MG. "Yer day of interuptus". haha
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No sh*t. 
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Whenever I am having a shit and the phone rings I keep on pumping out the brownies and ignore the caller. Take my advice and do the same. A friend will call back, a market researcher or telemarketer won't. Why get constipation for that?
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Good point, Barry! You should get into poop therapy. You have both solved my problem and rendered this poem meaningless. Thank you.
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LOL
And Mark's new Christmas present will be a phone installed right next to the toilet paper! lol
Hey- you should look up "The Excrement Poem"- it's not a funny poem like yours, but very well written. I found it in a copy of "Good Poems"- a collection put together by Garrison Keillor.
As always, amusing and well done!
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How thoughtful of you! I'll check out the Excrement Poem. I'm glad to see someone else appreciates the finer things. Poets have been strangely silent on the subject of poop.
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