Although I try,
I cannot succeed
I will not, cannot,
I will fail.
Despite this,
I keep going
failing aimlessly, in a world,
of gloom, anguish and perplexity.
Someday though,
I hope to find
there is hope, in the darkest of places,
sun beyond the horizon.
There is enlightenment at the finale.
A contest entry
- Contest for many types of poems, Prewrites allowed. by Systems Malfunction.
500 points, ended January 30, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [x] Lots of options [x] Something for everyone! Read! by Jade-.
450 points, ended January 28, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment thanks :)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very well done, nice message. In the end God will treat us right.
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This drew me in. nice write
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Subtle
Yours was the first poem I read. I was not what I expected from the title, but I like it. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest! -
Very nice
Hey,
Good job on this :-] It is a very touchign piece, sad, but also pretty uplifting. It gave me a feeling of hope more than anything else.
Thanks for entering my contest, and the best of luck!
[x] -
Welcome to allpoetry
This is very spiritual and even though at first it doesn't appear to be so, uplifting. There will be enlightenment and peace and understanding in the finale. For God will appear to take us home. Good flow and structure. Nice job with this.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
I like this short poem. I like the word usage particularly, and the "sun beyond the horizon." Good job and good luck in the contest.
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You open with a tone of defeat, convinced of unavoidable failure, but that feeling changes nicely by the end of the poem. "I hope to find" and the final line both point to an unrelenting need to succeed. Very nice.
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motivational; potrays your determination i like it
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i really like this...great write..can't wait to read more from u..
xXxdarkemotionsxXx
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