walking aimlessly through the night
slipping into a pile of obsolete
falling to my destiny hands wide shut
I close my eyes to the sound
of this painful whole of vacancy.
Chills control my spine
as images of nothing begin to form
then suddenly I understand
the tragedy of this empty fossil.
I found something sacred in here
that leaves me in great discomfort
for what I have found is me.
A contest entry
- What's Within a Black Hole? by aslanlight.
600 points, ended December 30, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is extremely disturbing. I'm impressed with 'images of nothing' and the last stanza because it's quite unexpected and startling. An allusion to a Black Hole would've been appreciated because no one will ever know it was written about one! You have a good use of the English language and I think you put thought into this.
Peace Georgia
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not sure
not sure if this is a compliment as in u liked it or constructive critisism....as in u didnt, it is the black whole of depression in metephor relation to a black whole in the ground.....thnx for the comment
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Magnificent!!!!!!!!!!! Great write!!!!!!!! I loved this one!!!!!! Words well chosen and flowed perfectly!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best wishes to you in the contest.... This one is surely prize worthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
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thankyou
thnx for such a wonderful comment on this write! I am glad that u could connect to this piece in such a way that my words could speak to u on any level. However of course I wouldnt want anyone to experience this feeling, but it is nice when someone can feel connected to words that I express, enough to understand what i am sayn... thnx again !!!!
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Magnificent!!!!!!!!!!! Great write!!!!!!!! I loved this one!!!!!! Words well chosen and flowed perfectly!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best wishes to you in the contest.... This one is surely prize worthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
We all feel like we are walking around in a black whole where we feel empty and alone in this world thank you for sharing this with me goodluck to you in the contest best wishes and much love
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