In the distance
A stranger sees the smoke.
His attention is heavily veiled
overburdened under an obsessive cloak.
a shrug to forget
Unable to shed his curiosity
his focus exiled within
this animosity
A few goodbyes
departing his tent now
with only a tiring pace
his lust for truth made avow
Forever he runs
until the sun begins to set
it's too late to falter
still closer he gets
The sky a distant gray
tempted by the aftermath
the remnant of a blaze
suffering twisted wrath
His breathe seized
arms begin to shake
about to lose himself
in more than he can take
Amongst the burnt logs
The ashes dispersed
a simple gesture
a sight most perverse
Sorrow overtaken
perplexed to the edge
a whimper away from
transcending the ledge
Covered in ash
scarred beyond recognition
someones everything
someones simple proposition
This innocent bystander
Overcome by defeat
driven to madness
As he hears its last beat
There, burned at the stake
A tragedy galore
His trust, his love
His very core
This man witnessing the
demise of my black art
the source of curiosity abroad
My charred, fractured heart.
A contest entry
- I must be insane. PREWRITES! by borrowing.moonlight.
720 points, ended July 30, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Your black art of pyre techniques, is indeed a black art. liked your story full of most graphic imagery, a good read. thank you.
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well that was a little difficult to understand. very intricate and complex which adds an air of mystery to your poem. well done and thanks for the entry
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what a glorious ending!
that was wonderful.....
My charred, fractured heart!
loved it!
way to write!
ears/Seattle
wonderful flow
the rhyming added a lovely texture
and added to the flow!
BRAVO! BRAVO!
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loved it!has some very intriguing and equally challanging word-combinations!truly inspired!well done indeed!keep up!
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Well done!
VERY good story... it leads to a thought of what it is all about though... -
wow this is fantastic you are actualy really good at telling at story, the verse stanza has a bit of trouble with the iambic pentiminer but you do really well rhyming words like animosity lol i think you express your emotions really well and there is a lot of power in this poem, very well done, keep writing dude you have talent
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I think at one time or another I have felt like this. I possitively love the words you use to describe it. You have some real talent that is expressed in this artful story telling. Just wow I cant say enough. WoW!
~BrokenAngel~
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Whoa!
A story unfolds within this intense poetry,
this is the best kind!
I think this leaves a lasting impression, much like another poem I read just recently, except in a different way,
this poem is different in the sense that
it has substance,
it has life, it has reality.
it has MEANING! PURPOSE!
i can feel it, alive with vigor!
each line powerful, intense!
Your descriptions are profound and vivid.
truly a lovely poem!
I both adore and admire it alot!
amazing job!
Its not just the poem, but the poet!
I applaud you!
x from the ashes x
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Thank you!
For the long comment!
I'm glad you liked it. I enjoyed writing it!
Only the best!
(And more!)
Sean
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"Amongst the burnt logs
The ashes dispersed
a simple gesture
a sight most perverse"...these lines made me wonder!hmmm...very thougthful word-combinations!
this poem was a true pleasure!well done indeed!keep up!
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