Now you are nothing more than scatterd memories
To visit you I must go to those beautiful moors
To see you I must gaze at those photographs
But to talk to you I must say it, nothing more
Where ever I am, no matter how far from home
I know with every inch of my soul that you will be here
I know that you will follow me
For that I have no need to fear
Your ashes have already been scattered
And so your body has gone
But your soul and heart are still here
As with your family they will always belong
Author notes
first thing that came into my head when you said scatterd
hope you like it x
In a list
A contest entry
- Prompt:: Scattered by Naridill.
450 points, ended December 22, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
well?
Comments
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Touching
This is simply direct and potent: emotionally pure. I think it falters in a few places, the I know repetition, and the forced rhyme at the end, but still, it rings true and is quite moving. I think it needs a gentle tune up to really make it sparkle.
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I get the first part of prompt - but there were too parts. I can feel the mist of the scattered ashes - a little to obvious but beautifully penned. But I don't feel the paranoia. In seems although that it was walked past. But a nice approach
Thanks for entering.
Much luck
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Thank you..
Thank you so much for commenting my poem.
It was hard to write and i appreciate it.
I thought i'd take a look at your poetry .. and this one blew me away...
It reminds me so much of my nana ..
and the first bit reminded me about how me and my best friend have drifted away.
So you made me cry almost twice.. normally it's a bit harsh to make someone cry .. but this poem was just so amazing and strong with so much emotion .. it was perfect..
x
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Nice comparison/contrast to the scattering of ashes and the recollections/memories of a loved one. Nicely penned, good luck in the contest.
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