I had begun to suspect that he'd
been playing me.
You know, the itchy green carpet against
my bare thighs folded in V's,
the half closed biege blinds that
half closed my eyes
And a suckers silent treatment
to wind around myself
with all the impatience of a cobra
Considered himself to have
a real poker face,
even if it was five hundred Rummy
that we were playing on my bedroom floor
He thought he was flattering me,
saying that I was the only one
he ever played with
But 'special' takes on another meaning
when even your mother worries about you
playing cards with someone
she says isn't there
No dealing.
This was the last hand of our game
and he was beating me, right before
I picked up four Aces to pinch a win
He threw his cards spinning into
my desk like dibiliated paper helicopters
that burn, explode on the way down
Stormed out screaming about
cards up sleeves I'm not wearing
A sore loser
And while losing a hand is different
than losing your grip
I don't think I want to play with him anymore.
Author notes
What a fun idea for a contest! Who would have thought to write about an imaginary friend. : )
In a list
A contest entry
- My Invisible Friend by Melodies.
600 points, ended December 9, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SOLITARY by rainwalker.
450 points, ended April 29, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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this is good. i like your style of writing. it's so real. you make the reader see what you are seeing {even if it isn't there}.
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I really enjoyed this.. it has a sort of twistedness about the whole imaginary friend theme. The speaker is losing their mind, but at the same time they're just playing cards.. and all the metaphors that you wove into the poem about playing cards, and aces up your sleeves. That is really true to life actually, for some of us who have been there. Congrats on working such a weird theme into your poem and coming out with something that really sparkles with creativity and wit and metaphor. You totally deserved that gold award
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Very nice. Love the idea of playing cards with an imaginary friend. Very cute piece. Thank you for sharing this and good luck!
-Laura -
Very entertaining! Loved your lines "Stormed out screaming about cards up sleeves I'm not wearing" and "while losing a hand is different than losing your grip." Very good title.
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Very good write here
This one I read twice it threw me there for a bit
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I can see why this won the gold, it's fabulous! A very clever and enjoyable read, and some great imagery.
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Brilliant
Writing about an invisible friend was definitely a great idea for a contest, and rightly so you won gold. The poem worked in so many ways. I liked the use of cards, comes across to me as almost a mirror on life. If I were him, I'd probably accuse 4 aces of cheating, too. Well done with this! -
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Hey man! I didn't cheat!
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Well deserved gold here. I don't normally care for humor in poetry but man you do it well. I loved this the best so far.
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Thanks for all the comments! That's really kind of you.
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You well and truly deserved the gold. This is a brilliant original poem with good rhythm to it.
Well done. Try the Lindt Dark 80% cocoa. Yum.
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Thanks for the suggestion on a good chocolate.
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lol invisible frined? ha... i hadn't realized it was about an invisible person til i saw the contest title. i kinda thought the whole thing had been a metaphor to someone was emotionally not there or something of the sort. nice piece.
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You certainly deserved this gold!
I had so much fun reading your poem,
I forget it was...a poem Loved it.
Lane
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You're so sweet!
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wow great write I was taken in and thought your friend was real at first, congrats on gold
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"no dealing"
wow. this is excellent stuff. that line alone gave me plenty to think about. no dealing with yourself/ your mother cannot deal with you/ hinting at a deeper psychosis, whatever. it was great. and so was the rest of the poem.
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Thanks! Actually the no dealing was a play about the cards but it also was a metaphor for my mother. You're really smart. Thanks for such a great comment.
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Right! Just turn your back on him.
I really admire your take on having an invisible friend. Actually, I think we might all benefit from having an invisible friend. It would be somebody to talk to and do all the things to... that nobody else will tolerate. Like I could sing and recite poetry to my invisible friend. 
Love your poem! 
Cards... so clever! 
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Thanks for hosting such a great contest!
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wow!the flow and imagery are spot on! it was filled with so much emotion it painted pictures in my mind.
Lovely poem to have read!
xx
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Very good
You paint a picture with words that bring your memories alive in the reader's mind, and we too can appreciate your world filled with imagination and a spark of remembrance that calms the heart and allows a smile. The words seemed to flow effortlessly and the imagery created an atmosphere of understanding that brought the whole scene to life in my mind. The story was realistically portrayed within a sad and disenchanted beat as make-believe is questioned and its existence is no longer a sure thing.
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Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. I really enjoyed reading it.
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