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Disperse

 

Delusion peppers reality ~


 - pure, white truths triumphantly hailed-

       or

-defiled, black illusions a requiem mass-


 the division between...

  gray smudges of actuality & fantasy

        beckon a smeared decision-


blue devils and pink elephants

   dance to illicit rhythms in

       manic beat perfectly timed;

   

beliefs bootleg 

     smuggled reason;

           disperse perception. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Allpoetry has never been so complicated.

Therefore your prompt is, as I am

'scattered'

with a touch of paranoia

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Naridill gold member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely worked - some parts are just worded and placed perfectly ~ the flow, some parts choppy but work extremely well with my mind and prompt

    Very nicely done, thanks for entering. Much luck


  • Angel w o Wings
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Alot said in here. I liked it, but so much more could be said to "electrify" this piece. That being said, I still think it rock's, just needs........well, more! (In my opinion) 


  • darell
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    Wow! These are some powerful words that
    evoke even more captivating images.
    Your talent for perception and the usage
    of words is brilliant. I really enjoyed this
    poem and would read it again and again.
    Excellent writting here


    • Grimoire
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you I hope there was clarity within this one. I didn't use much definition , well, not as much as I usually do. But I am flattered that you would read it more than a few times. I admit I have read it about 20 times trying to figure out how to give it definition. I just settle for the fact that I broke the entire poem down, In a comment reply to Montez.... it is a few comments below this one.

      appreciation,
      homewrecker


  • Mallig gold member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the prompt, certainly projects a feeling of scattered perception between reality and hallucination, a great write, good luck in the contest.

    Scrolling through the comments, I LOVED your little ditty, "I wish I could please them all,
    but haven't the will nor the wit,
    I, of course, must stumble before I fall;
    Soaring above though, I don't give a shit." Three clappies just for that one.

    • Grimoire
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL.......Shhhhhhhhh. That wasn't supposed to be BETTER than my entry in the contest. Though I laughed at myself in the realization that it WAS better, because there is truth and truth is the greatest thing a poem can ever hope to have.... except for maybe -essence of thought purified within a perfectly captured moment-.


  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OH YAY!

    THIS IS SOOOO WELL WRITTEN!
    Just, wow....
    it flowed sooooo nicely!!!
    and was fun to read yet CHAOTIC!
    KUDOS, I WISH YOU LUCK in the contest you enterd though you won't be needing it! haha

    • Grimoire
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Flowing and Chaotic... that is a wonderful compliment to me and thank you. I cannot say there is a better compliment than that, at least to me. Chaos is just another form of sanity to me... it is the polar opposite of Order and Reason, which I am not prone to very often.

      thanx,
      homewrecker


  • PerfectImperfection
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a vivid glance into paranoia; that scattered sensation that envelopes the 'soul', along with the mind. Precise and powerful wording, leading straight into that land of confusion. Very nice take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest!


  • ellipsist
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this suits the prompt well... a far better interpretation than any I could have provided...

    well done!


  • vici377
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    touch of paranoia

    love it..love the abstract..with a touch of mental..gray smudges of actuality and fantasy beckon a smeared decision..wow..what a line..love it..how you progressed it..from gray smudges..smeared decision..this is amazing..love the ending..beliefs bootleg smuggled reason, disperse perception..absolutely amazing..perception is in eyes of a few..and this is subject to change frequently..love the scattered schizo theme through this..best of luck in the contest..thanx for sharing..

  • montez gold member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Confused....

    ....is probably the best way to describe my feelings at reading this piece.
    I have been oft criticised by others for my forthright views on free verse, but, frankly, this "poem" epitomises everything I hate about free verse - in particular, abstract free verse.
    Put simply, and crudely, I don't have a f*****g clue what you're on about : therefore, how can I possibly give an intelligent critique?
    I've also been criticised for this - just tonight - but I am awarding you claps to reimburse you at least part of the cost, in points, for my clicking this piece, without being able to say anything constructive about it.
    I feel that for people like ME, who ABHOR free verse, that it should be listed amongst the titles, so that, at least, we can avoid it, and save you the waste of hard-earned, or bought, points.
    I wish you good fortune in your writing, but urge you to heed the words of a greater poet than you or I : Robert Frost described writing free verse as "playing tennis without a net", and I wholly concur.
    Good luck,
    Robin.

    • Grimoire
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The "poem" is about paranoia. The truth is seen as white. Delusion/illusion/hallucinations are seen as black. In between is seen as gray. When truth is the current reality, it is "hailed". When not, it is a dark song of defiled perception. "Blue Devils" and "Pink Elephants" are clinical diagnoses of hallucinations... and they come and go as they please to an insane mind... or "dance with illicit rhythm". The last 3 lines speak for themselves, or to those with an intellect able to cognitively reason, without the rhyme.

      I wish I could please them all,
      but haven't the will nor the wit,
      I, of course, must stumble before I fall;
      Soaring above though, I don't give a shit.

      (A little ditty,
      that actually rhymes,
      isn't that silly?
      Just for you and your kind.)

      until immolation,
      homewrecker


  • Hope Angel silver member
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great words.


  • genevieve3
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice use of color in your words.

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