~
Fear.
Horror starts
transforming swiftly,
overpowering panic descends.
Tremor as pulse continues pace,
slowly increasing a sense of dread.
Change of mind, you try to embrace,
calling the ideas inside your head.
Emotions turn upside down,
comprehension dawning,
encourage
wrath
~
Dark
rage slowly
builds, ultimately
exploding into insane
lividity of serpentine minds.
Colour drains, evil anger unfolds,
restraint no longer keeps you confined.
Malicious thoughts begin to take hold,
stopping before penance forms.
A deep breath helps to
bring on the
calm.
~
Author notes
prompt - Emotions
Design your own form.
Ok this was a lot harder than I ever thought possible. Being new to poetry I haven't yet got round to forms but think I have managed ok. It goes like this...
No of ~ syllable ~ rhyme
lines ~ count ~ pattern
line 1 ~ 1
line 2 ~ 3
line 3 ~ 5
line 4 ~ 7
line 5 ~ 9 ~ A/A
line 6 ~ 9 ~ A/B
line 7 ~ 9 ~ B/A
line 8 ~ 9 ~ B/B
line 9 ~ 7
line 10 ~ 5
line 11 ~ 3
line 12 ~ 1
Either rhyming pattern is ok, I Have decided (for now) to call it Lady Drops. So many people have said it looks like droplets, so for now that will be its name.
A contest entry
- Final Round - Invite Only by Florida Sunshine.
1750 points, ended December 22, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - inside insanity by mythian.
425 points, ended December 31, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Now this background captivates the form of your poem.I love it!!!
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I love the pace of tis poem. Panicked, yet organized. The shape seemed to remind me of an hourglass, and the effect of the sand slowly changing, just as the emotions ran and changed. I do not know if this was intentional, or just my own view, but either way, this was fun to read. Thanks for entering!
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I like how you've done this Lady. The form is amazing.
It's a nice write (Yes, dark is nice to me, lol)
Wonderful writing! *Is a fan of your work!*
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I love the shape of this poem! That sounded weird but... it really does add to it. I also loved the sparse rhyme scheme. Awesome form. I especially enjoyed the second stanz.
Good luck in the contest you entered! -
Lady ~ for being a new poet you sure look like a pro~ your piece is beautifully written ~ the shape of the piece gives the impression of lifes and feelings twists and turns... on purpose or planned ~ really pulls the piece together as one.
Congrats on making it to the final round. I see a great poetic future for you ~ I'm honored to have you in my contest ~ good luck to you! -
this is enough to bring on panic in the pit of my stomach which means you are a great writer.
judy
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This is totally awesome! I love the image it formed. Great word usage for the syllables available, vocabulary was outstanding, and the emotional game is surely won. Great job in this new form!!
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BRAVO!! it looks like a diamond pendant.
You're amazing!!
(i'm so proud of you)
loved, loved!! this poem
"Malicious thoughts begin to take hold,
stopping before penance forms."
Brilliant!!
~Pastel
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AMAZING form my friend..It looks like an ornament on top and a diamond below. Interesting concept. Looks like the other form I created with a few differences. Great ides for a form. Can't wait to see what you call it.
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Wow!!! You penned this my friend. This is brillant. If this was hard you sure make it look easy Once again a master.
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