i would have called you messiah
(instead you became another pitiful stellar homicide)
forgive me father, for i was looking for some liberating ambivalence
-nothing too good, just enough-
but only a handful is blessed with bilingualism
and we, the rest, are torn between body and heart
beneath the rapidly fading manufactured passion of your tongue
all i felt was nicotine-tinged disgust
now,
am i a fool to search your cruel blue sky
for a shooting star
to wish an astronomic romance?
let me tell you one thing
bedroom hair does not work as well for virgins
A contest entry
- A love that was never real but the pain after was by MysteriousMoonlight.
875 points, ended December 29, 2007, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quote inspired by Ilma.
925 points, ended December 20, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Oh wow...I loved this! Nicely done, kind of ironic, and you expressed your emotions well. I thought that the title was a bit long and overdone, kind of killing how powerful it could have been, but other than that, very well done!
-
Wow this is a good piece!I really loved the words and flow of this poem!Good luck in the contest!
-
welll this whole thing was spectacular exept for the end, it didnt quit fit,, i really like the beggining and the body but the last two lines the poem could have done without...
kaydee
great job truly
-
Ah I love it. Your use of vocabulary is good and so is your imagery. I like the title and the last line in particular. So yeah, good work, thanks for entering and good lukc =
-
nice title too. lol.
-
wow. i liked it. a little mudy though.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
