poetry flow,
like Bradley Nowell,
like miguel pinero
like hearing the wind blow
like letting the rain soak my sweaty pelo
like blue cielo,
i want to write on it
lay back on the grass,
throw my style on it
my finger is a pen
i have lines in my head
and i cant comprehend what you say
because these words in my brain take me away
to a summery place
where lela face tugs my sleeve
where reggae beats dig into me
and i cant believe this dopamine
imaginary daydream
I'm spacey,
poetry makes me
Author notes
option#2
A contest entry
- OPTIONS! 8 OF THEM!!! by liduen.
600 points, ended March 21, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Whatever. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
honesty is greatly appreciated
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Interesting metaphors in this. Short, but powerful as well. I liked a lot of lines in this, however some did seem forced. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Where do I start on this - it's great!
i want to write on it
lay back on the grass,
throw my style on it
my finger is a pen
Very good! -
Good job! Nice write and good luck in the contest.
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Good
I enjoyed this although the rhyme seemed forced in some parts. Still I live poetry and love the story told.
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I didn't know some of the references so I wasn't able to completely relate to it but I liked the flow and the last line is quote-worthy.
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I liked it.
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I smiled at the mention of Bradley Nowell because I love sublime, and the little bit of spanish in this is very reminiscent of their music. The poem itself though, well it could use some work. Thanks for entering but this is not what I'm looking for.
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This captures a moment in time and a microcosm in a moment.
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i like the spices in the dish, latin accents, lost rock music[ian],caribbean groove, perception alterations..all combine with the simple things; laying on grass,seeing sky... reader can make some mosy interesting choices here...very well done...PK
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An Original!!
Spoken like a true poetess in the garden of nature's writing bug! A place where the thoughts and feelings explode into words on paper that express the very things that all need to hear!! Great job on this one dear! Loved it! Don
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wow,thank you so much!you made my day.like every time i read your comments.thank you!thank you!thank you!
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My pleasure to read hun! Happy you are happy!! Don
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