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Is This For Me?

My face was a scrunched up mess that morn.
When I looked to see the box and the bow torn.
My anger rose to a level most fair.
As I saw in the corner of the couch my christmas bear.
My brother giggled from behind the couch, what an evil deed for that little mouse.
The worst present ever I must say, was re-receiving that bear all torn and frayed.

Author notes

This is my first attempt at short poetry..lol.

A contest entry

FIrst Attempt..be gentle..

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Comments


  • MassMan
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your entry

    A sad tale of misadventure you relate here. Though it was a bit shorter than the required 10 line minumum, which I and others previously mentioned that you might lengthen it a bit, I am happy to say that it will still be given an Honorable mention. Keep writing, and trying new things--what I saw I liked.
    Thanks for entering this contest,
    David


  • TwilightDazzles
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awww what a meanie. That indeed would be a bad present. But, you need to write a few more lines, the contest calls for at least 10 lines Best wishes!!!


  • cup-a-joe silver member
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. you need to write more.