I'm a waste of a perfectly good mess. You're a waste of my inspiration--a waste of ink--dripping from your skin like sweat; confessions involuntarily spilling at your feet. You've been searching for me your entire life, and now you don't even care that I'm gone. I am slithering down your shower drain like the hair I wish was your color. I wish was your length, tangled up in the secrets that you can wash off your flesh but not off your bones…
I'll shiver in my skin. I'll build you a fire with my carcass and even through the sparks of my eyes, I'd be nothing more than a way to keep you warm. [A name like mine is only meant to be moaned..]
Somehow you've grown on me; my hands on the inside of your rib cage, eyes gleaming through the bars. You swallowed me whole and everything you ever buried has befriended me. Pleading that I listen; the only way out was through the heart and with people like you, I’d never make it out alive.
A few paces at your heels; I know your steps better than any one else. The way you stumble over to me says enough. Each drag of your ankles screeches and mourns over my existence. I am almost sorry, but not for you. Crying is not a fucking release. Writing is not a fucking release. Music is not a fucking release. Not when they all scream out your name. Not when guitar strings become puppet strings and I’m dancing before I even know the song, before I even know that you have melted me into clay and molded me into exactly what you wanted [for that moment.]
I don't wanna be around you, I don't want to be around anyone. [I don't want to be alone.] Hate is such a strong word, and yet somehow so appropriate. It was either a real lie, or a realization and somehow I doubt the difference really mattered. It. is. no. longer. safe. here. You try to schedule me in, but I know I'm the appointment you'll miss because you forgot to read between the li[n]es.
“WHAT do you WANT?”
I don’t see why you bothered asking something you care nothing about. Funny how feeling empty, makes me feel complete. Funny how you don't let me write about anything else. Funny how death creates a poet. Funny how the ring he gave you will always fit you best. Funny
how you no longer understand my sense of humor...
Some stories are simply climax and resolution. The pages turn, spines bend, and with the flicker of a finger you've moved on. You will never get it. You will never read it. You will never care. You will stalk only to spy and you'll mistrust like I miss trust. Sometimes it’s hard to take the jump [but you make it that much easier.]
Deranged fingers clutch the scale-- weaving moon moss around each tooth.
Maybe her smile will glow bright enough to blind you
[since love hasn’t.]
Author notes
I am lost. I am broken. You don't deserve to be written about.
In a list
A contest entry
- write yourself out. by -foreverandever.
950 points, ended December 19, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - no title by lee-sharp.
1500 points, ended January 15, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♪ D.I.r.T.Y. P/r/e/t/t/y ♪ - C-o-N-t-e-S-T by Kari.
425 points, ended February 15, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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jesus.
that was beyond amazing, i know im probably repeating the words of everyone who has read this, but damn, this blew my mind.
keep up the great work,
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i am addicted to these words. the way you can make this language dance for you is incredible.
Crying is not a fucking release. Writing is not a fucking release. Music is not a fucking release. Not when they all scream out your name. Not when guitar strings become puppet strings and I’m dancing before I even know the song, before I even know that you have melted me into clay and molded me into exactly what you wanted [for that moment.]
this is my absolute favorite few phrases of the entire piece. i love the bitterness, the power, the striking, raw imagery....beautiful. sad. lovely. you're going to move mountains one day =)
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Hi, I really love your poem. It conveys so much emotion and hurt and frustration.
This line I love especially:
Somehow you've grown on me; my hands on the inside of your rib cage, eyes gleaming through the bars.
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wow this was a wonderful read. so full of passion, i loved it!
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"You've been searching for me your entire life, and now you don't even care that I'm gone. I am slithering down your shower drain like the hair I wish was your color. I wish was your length, tangled up in the secrets that you can wash off your flesh but not off your bones…"
"Somehow you've grown on me; my hands on the inside of your rib cage, eyes gleaming through the bars. You swallowed me whole and everything you ever buried has befriended me."
"A few paces at your heels; I know your steps better than any one else. The way you stumble over to me says enough. Each drag of your ankles screeches and mourns over my existence." I love that imagery there!
"Not when they all scream out your name."
SOOO true!
"Funny how you don't let me write about anything else. Funny how death creates a poet. Funny how the ring he gave you will always fit you best. Funny
how you no longer understand my sense of humor..."
so honest and raw.
"The pages turn, spines bend, and with the flicker of a finger you've moved on."
wow... that's... profound
I've had this bookmarked for everr, and I'm so glad I finally read it!
it's wonderful.
I'm sorry though.
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This was really good..thanks.
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and;
"Some stories are simply climax and resolution. The pages turn, spines bend, and with the flicker of a finger you've moved on. You will never get it. You will never read it. You will never care. You will stalk only to spy and you'll mistrust like I miss trust. Sometimes it’s hard to take the jump [but you make it that much easier.]"
that is what i mean by oh my god, i can't offer you good enough praise.
mind blown? that's pretty close.
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Crying is not a fucking release. Writing is not a fucking release. Music is not a fucking release. Not when they all scream out your name. Not when guitar strings become puppet strings and I’m dancing before I even know the song,
I don't wanna be around you, I don't want to be around anyone. [I don't want to be alone.] Hate is such a strong word, and yet somehow so appropriate. It was either a real lie, or a realization and somehow I doubt the difference really mattered. It. is. no. longer. safe. here. You try to schedule me in, but I know I'm the appointment you'll miss because you forgot to read between the li[n]es.
“WHAT do you WANT?”
I don’t see why you bothered asking something you care nothing about. Funny how feeling empty, makes me feel complete. Funny how you don't let me write about anything else. Funny how death creates a poet. Funny
how the ring he gave you will always fit you best. Funny
you'll mistrust like I miss trust. Sometimes it’s hard to take the jump [but you make it that much easier.]
Maybe her smile will glow bright enough to blind you
[since love hasn’t
wow amazing katie completley brilliant
wow i completly understand u completely u took the words right out of my mouth tat i never spoke or came up with to tell quintin lol wow amazing
lol ps do u realize each time i spelt completly i spelt it different lol i love you
great poem
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When this invite came up I read the options and thought I'd have a go at writing a prose entry .. now I know why I haven't done it before, when I read this my jaw was scrapping on the floor .. you are the college profesor while I am the kndergarden kid .. You should win this contest hands down.
Your words usage, your imagery and the emotional content is just perfect and the whole thing just builds and builds onto my senses, and that ending ... oh man .. that ending is just to good for words.
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Thank you!
=]Really
I've only been doing prose for a matter of months but its really grown on me
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You try to schedule me in, but I know I'm the appointment you'll miss because you forgot to read between the li[n]es.
You will stalk only to spy and you'll mistrust like I miss trust. Sometimes it’s hard to take the jump [but you make it that much easier.]
i wish that i could get closure from writing.
but it never feels like enough.
you write the words that i wish i could say.
ily more than you'll ever know.
[and i miss you]
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I don't know what to say.
I love you
and you can always talk to me.
[like you used to.]
♥
~Princess of Shadows~ -
bloody hell mom you're amazing.
this is written with beauty weaved into the fine lines of my computer screen.
it tugged at my heart strings and to know you feel this way is truly saddening. but you're right, he doesn't deserve to be written about. and that's as harsh as it can get.
to pick my favorite part of this poem would be impossible because I loved the whole damn thing. it's just brilliant.
feel better though. i'm here to talk if you need it. =] ily.
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oh good crap this is excellent
i read this with my mouth gaping... and wishing i had written it
you've way too many jaw-dropping lines for me to point out. i can't even pick a favorite line. the choice is immense.
your words caught me up, brought to me back to feeling exactly like this. the line 'Somehow you've grown on me; my hands on the inside of your rib cage, eyes gleaming through the bars' gives a literal image to being consumed by your feelings for another... and how it's in no way good for you but yet...
this is the best i've read on this site for weeks
three clappies are not enough...
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my goodness this is one awesome heartfelt write! I could comment about the one line that touched me most.. but then I couldn't, because ALL of it tugged at my heart. Sounds like the person should move on and find what real love and respect is all about.
You did a wonderful job on this my friend!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
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Whoa...
This struck me like a freaking lightening bolt! DAMN! lol. The strength in this poem emnates off the page! This guy does not deserve you but I know its hard to let go (trust me I know) AMAZING JOB, Jane
Fave lines:
I'd be nothing more than a way to keep you warm. [A name like mine is only meant to be moaned..]
Pleading that I listen; the only way out was through the heart and with people like you, I’d never make it out alive.
Not when guitar strings become puppet strings and I’m dancing before I even know the song,
Funny how feeling empty, makes me feel complete. Funny how you don't let me write about anything else. Funny how death creates a poet.
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"I wish was your length,"
should be i wish i was your length hun
as for the rest; it brings back painful memories of how i was when i lost my ex andrew.
the same feelings; same despise in every line but mine were never this in depth.
i feel the ending was much stronger in emotion than the beginning but all in all it's still really fucking good. good luck hunnie.
♥
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