the acts of unjust
took all my trust
emotional upsets
hard to digest
anger and pain
tears were like rain
washed away essence
fowl and unpleasent
no where to turn
years of heart burn
hate built inside
revenge took my side
bang bang
i shot him down
bang bang he hit the ground
bang bang
bang bang but he wont rape again
Author notes
the words bang bang i shot him down
bang bang he hit the ground were once in a song but i dont remember the author
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie Judged by RedwingSpirit.
425 points, ended December 7, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RAPE by InMyFlames.
300 points, ended January 22, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Word Prompt: Revenge! by dutch2lips.
550 points, ended November 1, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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a very strong poem, rape is unforgivable and in my mind is only revenged by death
well done and thank you for entering my contest!
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great poem thanks for entering i love the lines:
"hate built inside
revenge took my side
bang bang
i shot him down
bang bang he hit the ground
bang bang
bang bang but he wont rape again"
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Cheers to you.....now just hope he rots in hell, harsh words i know but this is my thought.
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a pain compared to no other, a memory never forgotten. flashbacks torment until The Healer comes...Jesus.
GBY
silverButterfly
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Congratulations on your Honorable Mention
my heart goes out to you with this pen as when women such as ourselves are invaded in this horrible manor we tend to want the revenge of killing the power stealing predator just to get some hold over the situation...
Blessings
~~Cheryl~~
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Congrats on your HM.Rape is a horrible thing I can relate to.Four years of being molested and three more being raped by my brother and cousins. As one gets older it takes awhile to quit blaming yourself even though you know it wasnt your fault.I think we learn to deal but dont ever det over all of the way. You have really penned this one and the imagery is superb.
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This is a poem I can truly relate to, for I have lived through rape and man there were times I wanted to shot the man who tore my very soul.
Best wishes and much love,
-Nessa
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very good
Interesting write.I never write about rape. Don't know why. Yeah should have capped his ass!
"BOO"
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Anger
There is anger and hurt displayed well in this piece. Hate grows inside when we have not learned to forgive even the most horrible crimes. As hate builds so does the need to take action. I think that is what this piece says. It would be even better if the regret for the "justified" actions were displayed and so really show the need to forgive not for the sake of the criminal but for the sake of the victim. -
Great write of pain and truth...rape is a total violation of which most never recover, and there is no justice in the system for this cold and heartless act.
Excellently put and many may not say revenge is the answer, but sometimes it is the only way one can empower themselves again and a rapist does not just do it once.
Thank you for the write for all who understand and need to hear it.
Love
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I love this!
This is a very well written poem in my opinion.
Great job and God Bless
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There is no pleasure to Rape
it is power steeling plan and simple.Bang Bang Indeed is almost to merciful.
In ink,
Dabbler
ps the death rate of rape victims is climbing ...perhaps that is the fact that it is exposed for what it is and there is a greater chance of being punished severly.
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OH No
will the lack of caring NEVER end? I'm sick of hearing of heartless "-------" who care for NOTHING but a moments 'so called' pleasure.
I give this poem max cheers
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The song you use is a Cher song, this is a nice write but run it through edit and apell check as it is a shame to spoil it for small errors (ABC Tab over the poetry box click it will under highlight in red and if you then click word correct alternatives will come upto click and choose)!
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the song was 'bang bang' by Cher..powerful punch good luck dear xx
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Very Good
A totally different and interesting approach to the violence of rape. We enter a world composed of reality diffused with imagination, anger and revenge in a swirling mass of disarray, that leads to murder and questions of morality. A very moving and heart felt poem. We feel how your heart cries out, struggling to be heard under the growing weight of all your despair and grief and we are moved.
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This is a great write, my friend, and shows us how the trauma suffered by a rape victim can turn them into predators themselves in many, many different ways. One of my favorite singers/musicians is a survivor of child molestation, and he's told on the pains and sufferings he's gone through trying to get over that day years and years ago. This poem reminded me of that. Great job on this write. Very emotional and deep.
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Well done, I mean that you shot him down
needless to say
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Hey I love that song! lol. This poem was so powerful, you conveyed such strong attitude in such a short piece...loved it!
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I understand the emotional scars very well. But I won't shoot him down. I'd castrate him and cook.. (too graphic to be placed here...lol). Anyway, way to go for getting the HM.
PS: The song is "Bang Bang" by Nancy Sinatra
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it was a song sung by cher. loved the poem - excellent emotional response. well done my friend. congratulations on your HM.
hugs and love,
petratanii
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excellent revenge. You did a wonderful job with the prompt. Thank you for sharing. Congrats to you on the HM. ~blessingings always sissy~
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Great revenge, for an abuser. Good luck in my contest. This is a nice piece. Very heartfelt with pain and sadness and of course the revenge
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