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Caution Required

 

 

Passion buried deep inside ourselves,

Only surface when the wall comes down.

Ration trust and love to just a few.

We must protect ourselves at all cost,

Compassion for each other beware.

 

Love can cause our heart in tears to drown.

Sea of endless emotions seen through,

Shove them back down before all is lost.

To keep them there we say a prayer,

Above all you must protect yourselves.

 

Fear can make your every nerve unglue,

Your breath you may still not yet exhaust.

Here my friends you must not rudely stare,

For fear can make man defy themselves.

Clear who know the emotion renown.

 

Pride can take charge and become the boss,

And you may be left going nowhere.

Hide behind your pride where darkness dwells,

Then you’re left to play the foolish clown.

Guide the soul this is hard to undo.

 

Sorrow can leave your weakened heart bare.

Do not put emotions on the shelves,

Borrow from love and fear never frown.

So let your heart light shine bright and true,

Tomorrows caring shall come across.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

The Oddquintina

Consists of 25 lines. There are 5 quintets with a specific alternating end word pattern. There are 9 syllables to each line.

The alternating pattern is as follows: Each corresponding last word all rhymes: (ie) all “a” lines rhyme, all the “b” lines rhyme and so on.
abcde
bcdea
cdeab
deabc
eabcd

As well as the first word in the first, third, and fifth line in each quintet rhyme within each set, the rhyme as follows:
f*f*f
g*g*g
h*h*h
I*I*I
j*j*j

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    December 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very Nice...thanks for the entry.

    Az


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write, well-thought-out and emotional, just like the prompt required! Congrats on the well-deserved gold!

    Love and light always


    • freespirit51
      December 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Immortal Obscurity

      Thanks for your kind comments on my poem. So glad you enjoyed the read. And thanks for the congrats on the gold.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First let me ask you to please not 5 star my comment, or comment me back at all for now. I am trying not to find out who anyone is at this time.

    I offen wonder how people could write this style of poetry and make it seem so easy. This is some outstanding work. I could never do this. Your talent shines through on this piece. I enjoyed reading this.

    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


    • freespirit51
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Loveandblessings2u

      Thanks for your kind words. So glad you enjoyed this piece as well. The form was quite a challenge even though I came up with it.


  • Florida Sunshine
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow Free ~ the piece is awesome... the form created is beautifully put together! Truly makes an complex yet amazing piece! The flow is like it was made like this ~ Excellent Job!

    Congrats on making it to the final round~ I hope you enjoyed it~ Good luck to you!


    • freespirit51
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      M Harrison

      Thanks my friend so glad you enjoyed this form. I was trying to come up with something that offered a challenge and still sound good.


  • CherryOnTop
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You are marvelous with this stuff.I have never tried this form.


    • freespirit51
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      CherryOnTop

      Thanks so much..This is my own form that I created for this contest. Hope you give it a try. It can be a real challenge if you like that kind of thing.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow so much going on in one write,
    it amazes me sometimes, how one person
    can full one poem with so much power.
    your wording is excellent, very well
    write and the style is wonderful.
    i really enjoyed your poem.

    loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


    • freespirit51
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Loveandblessings2u

      Thanks so much for your very wonderful words they are greatly appreciated. Glad you enjoyed the form as well. it was of my own creation as well.


  • CherryOnTop
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Passion,Love,Fear and Pride the four elements that can and will destroy us if we let them. You have penned this amazing piece. I love your form it is wonderful.

    • freespirit51
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      CherryOnTop

      Thanks for your kind words my friend glad you enjoyed it.


  • Amera gold member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have never written an Oddquintina and after reading this I think I'd like to try one. Very cool! I love the image of the poen its self, great work!

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • freespirit51
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Amara

      This is my other new form I created that is why you have never written one. If you try let me know. I found it quite the challlenge. Thanks for the kind words.


  • still.she.waits
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    personally i didnt care about the form it was writen in, but that it was wonderfully written, good job. and good luck in the contest


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      MachiavellianOrange.

      Thanks for the kind words on the poem. Sorry you did not care the form it was a form that I had to design for the contest. I like a challenge when I write, I hoped others would too.


  • Crodux
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well Expressed

    Good use of vocabulary, you didn't repeat the same word needlessly, yet it was understandable and not too intelligent for the casual reader. All-in-all a good write. Congratualtions!


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Crodux

      Thanks for the great comment. (I think). I hope not being too intellegent is a good thing...lol


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your words of wisdom flow softly from your golden pen So much said to better the heart and sooth the mind...My sister the form Queen


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      tender wolf

      Sweet sister I thank you for your generous words. I am glad you enjoyed this piece. It was an interedting challenge to try to create this form.


  • GoodKnightPoet
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    When it comes to Eros, I agree with what this poem is saying but don't agree if it's agape, which is God's perfect love.


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      goodknightpoet

      Thanks for your kind words, although I'm not exactly sure what you mean. It was just a poem on emotions, no hidden messages about God in there anywhere.


      • GoodKnightPoet
        December 7, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        you said "Ration trust and love to just a few." In God's love we are to love our neighbors and our enemies. In eros or romantic passionate love, ration trust and love to just a few I believe is appropriate.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzer!!

    I thought the form I'm trying to do was hard, nothing on yours...lol. Great job, I like how you covered more than one emotion as well. Best of luck

  • kathyspring
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good work

  • kathyspring
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    another professional im sure

    great job but im sure you new that i bet your an english teacher. anyways great job God bless


    I enjoyed the poem and it has one of the messages eve


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      LadyDementia

      Thanks for your kind words. This is my own poetry from. I tried to keep as many things directed toward an ODD count, such as lines, syllables, and front line rhymes. It was interesting to try to do.


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      kathyspring

      Sorry you loose. I am the farthest thing from an English teacher. Glad you enjoyed the poem.


  • ForsakenOne74
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry wasn't a piece I could really get in to, was kind of all over the place, didn't flow too well for me...the topic at hand was good tho, the meaning behind it was good, just the form itself doesn't appeal to me...


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      ForsakenOne74

      Sorry you had a problem with the poem. The subject was emotions and we had to create a new poetic form. I like a good challenge. maybe next time.


  • arafura gold member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    passion buried deep...

    I really like all these different forms you experiment with! The test is (for me) that the poems stands alone anyway despite the form. You are great at that! Good luck in the contest!


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      arafura

      Hey my friend glad you liked this form. It is my own created form. I hope you enjoyed it.


  • Ellain
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I am amazed by the structure. I especially relate to
    "Ration trust and love to just a few.
    We must protect ourselves at all cost,
    Compassion for each other beware."
    It is a lesson I've had drummed into me a few times.


  • Ithica silver member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Where on earth did you come up with this form? the intricate rhyme schemes are boggling my mind! It is truly an amazing thing! Not to mention the content of your poem in itself was just wonderful! How on earth do you do it ???


    • freespirit51
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Ithica

      Thanks my friend. This form came from several different forms I took the ideas from. The Sestina for the change in the line structure. Another form had the front line rhyme. I thought of the odd numbers throuhout the poem. 5 lines per stanza, 9 syllables, lines 1,3, & 5 rhyme. Glad you enjoyed it.

1 - 39 of 39