I'm sitting here waiting, a sound can't be found
Except the rain splashing against the cold ground
The silence is eerie, this feeling so new
The feeling of longing and missing of you
I'm freezing, it's so cold- watching rain fall
A thought of warmth is that maybe you'll call
Merely a doubt that is far from true
That thought never crossed the mind of you
I'm always there, shouldn't I receive the same?
Tossing and turning over playing love's game
I'm losing so badly, what am I to do?
I can't expect the help that I once gave to you
Is it so hard for you to show you're concerned?
The love I gave you- can just some be returned?
The feelings you proclaim are long past due
It's time to pay up the fines you grew!
My face is wet- from tears or rain?
I don't know which is better to explain
This pain that you continuously put me through
It's like you're not the person I once knew
The words you speak, the lies you say
Are nothing but lost to my dismay
A lost cause; pointless to pursue
A love past it's date to renew
So here I am, waiting for you to care
To remember me and become suddenly aware
Merely a thought that's far from true
That thought never crossed the mind of you
Author notes
Yeah, this is weird. It has a weird rhyming style of aabb, ccbb, ddbb. I don't know why I wrote it like this but I think it came out perfectly fine. I was sitting against a building, watching the rain fall before me, wishing this person was there for me, like I've always been for him.
He still hasn't called...
{{ and it's still raining in my heart }}
In a list
A contest entry
- Pick your favorite prewrite by Loveandblessings2u.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Confused.... by Falling.Again...Xx.
450 points, ended February 19, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments are appreciated on all work!{{even if you hate it}}
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
I liked this poem. It was very detailed and I dont find it weird at all. not much else to say other than that it was good!
♥Summer Moonstone♥ -
I love it, beautifully done
-
Great
This is an amazing poem. It describes so many things that actually happens during relationships.
Is it so hard for you to show you're concerned?
The love I gave you- can just some be returned?
The feelings you proclaim are long past due
It's time to pay up the fines you grew!
My face is wet- from tears or rain?
I don't know which is better to explain
A lost cause; pointless to pursue
A love past it's date to renew
these were my favorite parts, because they made the most sense, and had an actual meaning in my life as well -
What a beaufiful job you did in writing thie lovely work. First of all I am one of what seems tp be few that appreciates good rhyme and rythm ion poetry..personallu I think those that dont are jealous because they can't ...lol..and you did a wonderful job in this. Beautifully penned Dear Poet,
Evan
-
This is beautifully sad! I think you did a great
job putting this one together here. It's a terrible
feeling when the compassion and friendship you give
to someone is not returned. Just the simple thought of being acknowledged or even a smile would help to ease the pain and frustration that you feel deep inside.
Beautiful piece here and thanks a lot for sharing it!
Keep up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
This is good! You could definitely feel your sadness, anger, frustration yet also a feeling of getting over it. The rhyming is good, and I really like the way you did this. Good job!
-
I'm not a fan of rhyming like this, but you did well with it, and kept it up throughout which not many people can do.
-
such a heartbreaking write You did an excellent job with this though. Good luck with this piece in the contest and congratulations on the silver trophy
-
OMG! *wipes tears from eyes* this is such a sad and heartbreaking poem you have here. I'm so sorry that he still hasn't called and that you feel so lonely.
Everything will be alright though just wait and see. You did an excellent job with this poem my friend. God bless you in all that you do and keep up the amazing work. I can relate to this too and it brings back painful memories, but I've made it through them furthermore proving that so can you.
-
Wow.
This..
I could relate to this,
not only because i like the rain,
but because a couple of days ago,
I felt the same way.
you did good at reaching the reader here,
great job.
..Simply Me♥ -
First I would like to ask you to please not 5 star my comment or comment me back in anyway. because I am trying real hard not to find out who anyone is at this time.
There's an old song called " I wish it would rain " it is something about a man who cries in the rain so no one can see his tears. For some reason your poem reminded me of that song.
It is so hard to love and not be loved in return. To give and give and get nothing back. As much as it may hurt, we continue to feel what we feel, because a lot of the time our feeling we can't control. I been there and I hate the feel as much as the next person. A hurting heart is the worst pain. I wouldn't wish it or anyone.
Your poem is very well written and the flow is excellent, the story in itself is very sad. I can tell that you love very deeply. I have no favorite part the whole piece is simply amazing. This is an outstand piece of poetry.
Thanks so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
-
SOFTLY TOUCHING!!!!!
Ah, how the rain is able to bring out our sad thoughts It does make us wonder if it is our tears or the rain we feel running down our faces.
-
so many sad love poems recently. I wonder if it's something in the air? An unrequited love virus or something. Well written. Thank you for sharing.
-
Emo Tear
I can't expect the help that I once gave to you
Is it so hard for you to show you're concerned?
The love I gave you- can just some be returned?
The feelings you proclaim are long past due
It's time to pay up the fines you grew!
LOL!!! at this stanza and that line!! Now this is the poem little man should read!! That stanza kicks butt!!! aabb,ddbb,ccbb -sings- now i know my abc's!!! next time won't you write like Tii!!!! Great job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
