I spent last night trying to chuck my bird
She was clinging to my leg like a homesick turd
'Your tits are too small, and your legs are too short,
I want a fit bird from the Sunday Sport,
I can't hear my records when you sit on my face,'
Then she mouths off in front of my mates....
'But you told me that you loved me!'
'I never fucking did!'
'You used to bring me flowers!'
'Shut your fucking grid!'
'You acted dead sweet, and you called me fluffy pup!'
'You could cook, you could fuck, you could do the washing up, now I've had enough,
Go on, fuck off, get stuffed.'
I took her one side, and we started chatting:
'Tell the lads that, I'll kick your twat in! Now piss off back to your mother's,
I've had enough, say another word, you'll get a boot up the chuff,
You're spotty, you're ugly, you smell like Billingsgate,'
Then she mouths off in front of my mates.....
'But you told me that you loved me!'
'I never fucking did!'
'You used to bring me flowers!'
'Shut your fucking grid!'
'You acted dead sweet, and you called me fluffy pup!'
'You could cook, you could fuck, you could do the washing up, now I've had enough,
Go on, fuck off, get stuffed.'
I stormed off, I was going crazy,
When I got to the chippy, I had one foot in the gravy,
She's got a seven foot dad, (well, just about)
He was going to rip my liver out, I said:
'Here you go, grandad, your turn to hold her,'
There was half a pint of gravy on the chip on my shoulder....
N.B.-'Billingsgate'- A famous fish market, where many of the porters have gone on to greater things:
E.G.- Cod Stewart, Tuna Stubbs, Feargal Sharkey, Skate Moss, Beluga Lugosi, Salmon Rushdie
and half of the Mackerelsfield Town Football team.
A contest entry
- Love is more than a four letter word! by Unstoppable.
600 points, ended December 27, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Trapped....... by BeautifulCurse.
600 points, ended December 29, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is really interesting and unique.. i cant say that ive another like it.. its creative and actually holds some truth... it is a little chatty and kinda of hard to follow... but other than that great write and good luck..
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I could not stand this poem but it was really catchy. Maybe the chick was crazy so I'm giving the benefit of that. I liked the poem cause sometimes chicks flip out and you gotta be extra harsh. I love the demeanor and street tone to this. This is one fo the realest writes I've seen on here.
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Interesting!
I found this to be a definite change as to what I have been reading and sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. She sounds as if she had some issues, for you to come to that extreme. Keep up the great writing! -
You bloody English are so friggin' polite.
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not all the time so get lost
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great Write
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ta
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wow!
This is sad in more ways than one. The fact that a man would treat a woman like that is detestable, not to mention that an adult wouldn't want his buddies to know he actually treated someone right. I hope the father beat the bloody hell out of this man. -
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don't worry about it babe. my new bird knows her place.
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