No petrol in the van, knee-deep in empty cans,
We lost the map, the tyre's flat, the bloody gig's been banned.
We stopped off for some grease, Ben Nevis is obese,
We left him stranded, empty handed, ten miles outside Leeds.
Find us a pub where the ale and tarts are free,
Lock that fucking door, we'll drink beer 'til eternity.
Someone farted in the back, Fast Fret found a cat,
It was in the road, all stiff and cold, and squashed and thin and flat.
He wants to take it back, in a Tesco bag,
Its got one eye, its full of flies, he needs something to shag.
Find us a pub where the ale and tarts are free,
Lock that fucking door, we'll drink beer 'til eternity.
A contest entry
- Poems About Pets by psychiatrists dream.
450 points, ended December 10, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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that was different, I like different
well written and amusing 
thanks for entering and good luck
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ta. it is actually lyrics to one of our songs. condensed
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