Blackpool

One day, after closing, I was lying on my nest, when Stez shouted:
'Get your bags on, come on outside!'
I grabbed my stripy tank top, ( I had beer stains on my vest) and I said:
'Best get some cans in, its a long ride.'
We drove along the M6 chucking cans at other folk,
Stopped at all the services for photos
Picked up some fit hitch-hikers, and told them filthy jokes
And piled them in the back seat for groat-os

We're going down Blackpool, alright?
We're going down Blackpool, for a fight
We're going down Blackpool, to see the lights

Muttley's in the driving seat, Stez Styx is in the front, they're shouting:
'Watch it, cunt, you're goin' get it!"
Beater's in the back seat with a crack sat on his knee,
He's got his finger up her like a ferret.
Ten miles outside Blackpool, we had some real bad luck,
Muttley shouts: 'Oh, fuck we've got a flat!'
Beater chucked the jack at some cunt ten miles down the road,
We made him go and get the fucker back
The twat.

We're going down Blackpool, alright?
We're going down Blackpool, for a pint
We're going down Blackpool, to see the lights


N.B.-" Groat-os" (MED)
Groping = fondling a member of the opposite sex
Groating = getting smelly fingers
Groat-os = one of the only words which rhyme with 'photos'... With the exception of:-
'kotos' (Jap intruments); 'crow-toed' (pigeon-toed, but harder); and 'stoat toes' (if they have any).

For the pedants, an alternative couplet is supplied:
"Drove along the M6 chucking cans at other folk,
Stopped at all the services* for photos,
Picked up some fit hitch-hikers, took them to a farm,
And pointed out the paddock where the goat goes."

* These are: Knutsford & Charnock Richard...
so we accept that the line should read: 'both the services'.