God's gift to women

I got a barmaid from St Helens in the back of my Vauxhall Viva
She had massive melons and I wanted to bang her beaver
She had real bad breath and a dose of the pox
I ripped off her bags and her sweaty socks and rattled my potatoes against her dirtbox
Spread your legs and get your knickers down
I'm god's gift to women in this fucking town

She said I was good looking, and looked a bit like George Michael
But she didn't want a fucking, she was on her menstrual cycle,
So I gave her a lift down to Sandbach, she was after some grub, she was on the cadge
I got some meat and stuffed it up her vadge

Spread your legs and don't make a sound,
I'm god's gift to women in this fucking town

It was a messy job, but I kept my shirt on,
It was a penny round collar, I got it from Burton's
I got a good taste of her Bird's Eye beef curtains