Footprints chasing the horizon,
A goal forever out of reach.
The sound of failure
Echoing in empty hands.
Yet still she runs,
Caught within the current,
Strung between forever and now.
Bad luck taped to each silhouette.
Left dry and bruised
She wonders
Why?
A contest entry
- 100 poems, more points to come! by katie-jo.
900 points, ended January 18, 2008, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let me know what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Interesting that you use similar themes in Horizon as in Atrophy of Soul. In fact, "Strung between forever and now" is in both of them, as well as the idea of footprints. I like it when poets link separate pieces together like that. It becomes a continuation of thought, a sequel. The best lines are 3 and 4. They really get across the idea of failure, the ache of loss. Good job!
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thanks so much.
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Yes, I can feel it too...
Yes, I can feel it too, that sense of emptiness and yearning that comes from the unfullfillment of not completing a task; nicely done. --Joe
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thank you!
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Outstanding.
amazing, the feeling of emptyness and pain. I too wonder why. A great poem that people can relate to.
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thanks so much
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a good opening two lines, setting the scene right away, a fingertip away are the goals, and as we move forward they move too. i like the imagery of the sound of failure, i imagine it as a cracking sound maybe like ice. i like also the bad luck imagery being taped to the silhouette - strong language.
a good poem.
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thanks so much. yes, that's the same sound i had in my mind. like it is shattering before your eyes.
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Hmmm... In'eresting. It speaks about a girl who runs toward unreachable dreams; I got the feeling as I read it that she was running from something as well. I like poems I can sit back and think about. Well done! I love the lines "Echoing in empty hands" and "Strung between forever and now", it captures the whole idea of the piece.
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thanks. i love how you're always spot on with my stuff.
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I don't like the ending two lines.
They don't seem to fit to me.
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Very enjoyable piece of poetry..... I enjoyed reading this piece very much..... I wish you well in the contest!!!!!!
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thank you so much
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Wonderful poem, definitely a finalist. The title works excellently with the words you have penned.
"Yet she still runs,
Caught within the current,
Strung between forever and now"
Probably my favorite lines of this piece.
Thank you ever so for entering and best wishes in the contest.
Happy New Year!
~kate-flamingo
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