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A Traveler Walked On (Illuminated)

A traveler walked on
in the cold, dark night-
breath furling from
beneath woolen cap,
snow crunching underfoot.

The sky shone clear and deep
and endless overhead,
when at once
a light caught his eye,
so strange on such an evening.

Upon inspection,
the source was clear-
a tree, in her holiday finest;
a great fir, dark and fair.
She glittered
with golden pinpricks,
tinsel nestled
like crushed feathers
among her needles.
Gilded orbs hung delicately,
throwing tiny rainbows
against the snow.
She shook coyly with the wind,
sending out bell-like whispers
to the sleeping world.

He stood, our traveler,
mesmerized by her beauty,
her strength and her warmth,
and gathered it all,
until he could hold no more.

A traveler walked on
in the cold, dark night,
feeling flushed,
and more alive
than ever before.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • RuthKephart
    December 9, 2007

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    Beautiful...I could see every moment of this played out. Excellent use of imagery and personification.
    "She shook coyly with the wind,
    sending out bell-like whispers
    to the sleeping world."
    Amazing how a sight like this can change ones perspective on the whole world. Great use of the word prompt given. Thank you for the entry and best wishes in the contest
    Ruth


  • Emile
    December 8, 2007
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    Very good

    Your words took stage and treated the reader to a glimpse of your imagination and a peak at your soul. Your use of colorful images adds to the charm and depth of this work. I liked the poem as a good read. It flows like the currents of life with a realistic crispness.


  • beatnik
    December 7, 2007

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    Night time, snow, cold... Present a very profound feeling. I feel a very calm sense of urgency from this, if that makes sense. Time slowed down for me during this, and I swear I saw my breath.


  • just mercedes gold member
    December 7, 2007
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    Yes. Very nice. A warm and cozy feeling. Well penned, nice rhythms, nice imagery - easy to see, and vivid. I liked /dark and fair/ and especially /shook coyly with the wind/ and I like the idea of the traveller warming himself at the sight of the tree.

  • ShadesOfGray
    December 6, 2007

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    Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I LOOOOOVE the fourth stanza. It makes me feel all swerdly inside. Fantastic, as usual.

1 - 5 of 5