We hem and haw or whine and moan,
though it never changes a thing.
Wake up today; smile, don't groan,
and let the whole world hear you sing.
Though it never changes a thing,
you'll face the day feeling carefree.
To others joy is what you'll bring,
as you fill up their hearts with glee.
Wake up today; smile, don't groan,
greet life with a good attitude.
To anger you will not be prone
as you're filled with much gratitude.
And let the whole world hear you sing-
sing loud from the highest mountain.
Then as you hear the church bells ring,
love will flow just like a fountain.
Joyce Le Lievre
(sunny day)
© Joyce A Le Lievre, All Rights Reserved
December 6, 2007
Author notes
Prompt: Perspectives
I chose to do a Retourne, for those who may not know the form I am showing the instructions below.
~ RETOURNE~
Like so many other French forms, the retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.
Picture is courtesy of google image search.
http://www.allaboutpurple.com
In a list
A contest entry
- NO GREENS! - A Rounds Contest by Idle Mind Wondering.
1700 points, ended December 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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The whole world can be held by a smile even if unaware. I like this message of gentle perspectives.
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Ken, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise to me. I have found that a smile can do so much for people that I have met in this world. I truly try to give one to all that I meet and it produces the most wonderful results. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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I love Retourne.
This is perfect to the form and hits the prompt quite well. I may have gone unrhymed in this as the rhyme feels a bit forced, but over all your message is clear.
I enjoyed this very much. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Pam, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise. Also, for the honesty in your opinion. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this and that I could get my message across. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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I loved this poem because it was so upbeat. This looks like a difficult type of poem to master and I applaud your efforts. I hope you and Jeff have a wonderful holiday with loved ones. hugs, ME
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Mary, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave me here. The Retourne isn't really all that hard and it is a strong form because of the refrain lines. Adding the rhyme to it gives it even more strength and that can add a little more difficulty. I enjoy this form and I'm very happy that you enjoyed the write. Wishing you, Chris and yours the merriest and happiest of holidays from Jeff and myself. HHHHHHHHHHHHHH KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Mom
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Beautiful retourne and a wonderful message in this piece. Loved this one Joyce, well done.
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Kiran, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise on this one. I knew it would have to be good to move on in this rounds contest with the two people who are hosting. They are two of the finest poets on All Poetry. I'm very happy that you loved it so much. I hope you are enjoying yourself as a newlywed. I was still saying it after a few years. lol When it's right it will always seem like it was just yesterday. May you have that feeling between the two of you. Love you my friend, Joyce
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Beaustiful and serene.
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Janice, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise. We all take a different perspective on life and this is what came from me when prompted on it. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. It was peaceful to write. Love and God bless you, Joyce
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This is a wonderful retourne; the rhyme adds so much dimension to this form. Your "sunny" outlook is reflected in this verse as well as your life. This rounds contest is perfect for you since you are accomplished in so many forms of poetry. I wish you luck, although with the quality of this poem I know you will not need it. Peace, Liz
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Liz, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you have given me here. The rhyming does add so much more to the retourne and Amera got me stuck on it now. LOL We do have to put things into perspective. No matter what life throws at you, you just make the best of it. As the old saying goes; "If life hands you a bowl of lemons, make lemonade."
I'm very happy that you enjoyed this because it was a very refreshing write for me that was much needed right now. Love and hugs from your sis, Joyce
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This is a perfect retourne and you know how I love that form. This has a wonderful sing song meter and just reading it gives me a good attitude.
Love,
Amera♥
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Amera, Retournes are a wonderful form and since you got me to start rhyming in them I love them even more. This felt so good writing it. It made me smile and feel that refreshed feeling I spoke of. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. Love you my friend, Joyce
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THIS IS SO LOVELY!!!!
One does indeed need to keep a happy feeling inside and always share it with others. It is so hard to do sometimes but still ones needs to always try.
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Kevin, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise. It's so true that we must always try because life tests us each and every day with all it throws at us.
When you can keep that smile and pass it on to others it is a good feeling. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. I felt so good writing this. Love and God bless you my dear friend, Joyce
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A beautiful, uplifting, and encouraging piece of poetry
We would all do well to take your advice; life would be so much more simpler
All the best to you in the contest, my friend! -
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Thank you for the lovely words of praise my friend. It was uplifting to write this piece and left me feeling that refreshment mentioned. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and thank you for the best wishes. Love and God bless, Joyce
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What a nice message! The whole poem is very refreshing and the rhymes are flawless! Wonderful! Best wishes in the contest.
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Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me. It felt refreshing to write this one and gave me a smile as I did. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and thank you for the best wishes. Love and God bless, Joyce
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