Dare I attempt proper account,
of a face I can’t forget;
When lights flashed and my words froze,
the moment we first met;
My heart broke that very instant,
as I fought the urge to cry;
A soul was granted proof of God,
by a girl who’d steal the sky.
She shot from the stars to my heart,
fate seized me by surprise;
I heard heaven in her voice,
as I fell into her eyes.
Every law I knew was altered,
when she stood before me there;
No beauty viewed beside her,
would ever feel so fair.
Starlight smile under sapphire eyes,
strength displayed with grace;
An angel sent to save my soul,
all truth was in her face.
I tried hard to memorise her,
noble use for sound and sight;
My senses each absorbed by her,
I stood blinded by the light.
I foresaw our daughter’s future,
when at first she held my hand;
For two angels of two ages,
I dared to make a stand.
The chance to make a dream come true,
find sense in this existence;
Against the odds, I made the leap,
but could not bridge the distance.
She wasn’t who I thought she was,
when at last my soul could see;
Her sights were set on higher ground,
those blue eyes blind to me.
Her heart and secrets she kept safe,
while mine own were hers to save;
I don’t know why I fell so hard,
she never earned the love I gave.
The stars have been stolen from me,
the heavens hidden away;
Abandoned beneath the clouds,
“Sorry” was all she could say.
Blue skies have been stolen from me,
the sun since replaced by rain;
She smiled, then flew far away,
and never tried to explain.
Perhaps she’ll return tomorrow,
but I have my life to live;
I’ll search for who I thought I’d found,
with all this love to give.
I’ll no longer look for her star,
it would only make me cry;
Still all stars speak her name to me,
"The Girl Who Stole the Sky".
Author notes
for Izabela...the Star of Piastow
In a list
A contest entry
- Break my heart and make me cry by God is my reality.
900 points, ended August 11, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - She's a Goddess... by Dorick.
450 points, ended July 30, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Heart by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended July 31, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to comment..and please read my other work..
Comments
1 - 87 of 87
-
It sounds like you had a whole fantasy of the future playing in your mind, and she wasn't quite as imaginative...
-
I haven't read anything like this. It was good, and the name of the poem really goes well with the whole poem. Good luck in the contest
-
Okay.
This was everything I as looking for. This is a fantastic piece.: )
You will definitely been in the running to win. -
Well Deserved Gold!
...Just revisiting greatness here.
You have a magic way with words, my friend, each piece always so compelling. This one truly speaks from the heart; your love and grace shines through.
I hope your Angel returns with the stars and opens her eyes (as well as her heart). If so, she'll be one lucky gal.
Congrats on winning the Gold!
You rock!
P.S. I'd leave more applause, but alas! Since I've already done so in a previous comment, AP will not allow it again. Besides, 3 happy-face applauses are not nearly enough for this one.
-
Brilliant
Awesome story, beautiful rhythm. I don't mind losing to this at all.
Mark
-
So sad.. I think it's hard when we put all our dreams into someone and they don't return the feelings... and like you said in this:
I don’t know why I fell so hard,
she never earned the love I gave.
That happens I lot I think.. I usually guard my heart until that love is earnt, but it's a hard thing to do sometimes...
"I’ll search for who I thought I’d found,
with all this love to give."
I hope you find her!!
-
the flow is nice and the rhyme nice also i like this it has alot of strong emotions wonderful write!! Good luck in the contest
-
This is a fantastic write
Wow! this write is amazing, you have written this superbly, absolutely brilliant I really enjoyed this write, it was sad and emotional, beautifully written,.
-
Wow... This is stunning. You made me cry... I'm glad you entered and shared this with me. It's a truly remarkable piece.
-
That was beautiful. And using the stars and sky makes it even more so.
-
Wow. Probably one of the best writes I've read in this contest so far. Nice job. I loved it.
-
Very beautiful, very carefully-constructed. I can't fault it, apart from a few too many cliches, but all tastefully used, and they're hard to escape.
Thank you very much for entering this
-
impressive indeed and then some
i wonder why you suggest that i read this one when already you have your ego tweaked a bit by the content- the book- that is soooo absorbing and saddening as well....i give you kudos for that for certain.
i am impressed that you had the tenacity to go the full round to the point of creating a story almost or at least teasing the reader of a certain beginning and ending...(not sure if that makes sense to you but it does to my weirdly wandering mind.)
it strikes me more so though as a lament to the power that women hold by simply being beautiful to men; more often than not even beguiled into the foolish notion of love and security- as they smile and walk away leaving us wondering where our sanity is...
i just get the feeling of the crazy mating game we have because of the burden of being sentient...
hmmm, as men we will always lose that game, LOL...
i will check out some of your other writes-
-dev
-
I love the rhyme, the title pulled me in and the perfect rhyme kept me reading. Thank you for the entry.
-
This is a powerful picture of love gone awry. thanks for your entry into my contestlol
-
Okay, I absolutely love this. It's fantastic. The rhyme and rhythm flow so well... and the way it shifted, wow. I thought at the beginning that it was going to be a love poem and then, oh, it was so sad.
Gosh, great write! Good luck in the contest!
-
Gorgeous, beautiful, lovely, every other great word I can think of. This write is amazing! Thank you and good luck. Congratulations, you are on the finalists list.
-
Wow...beautiful in every sence of the word. The girl who this is about dosen't know how good she had it, if she thinks she'll find another guy who would write something like that for her again, she is sadly mistaken. Simply breathtaking. Keep up the great work! (this poem could make me cry!!!)LOVE IT!!
-
Wow, love this! Love the ending. Really beautiful, Love the title too.
-
wow simply beautyful ... ... i have noo words to discribe this poem ... ... you are abeautyfuul poet and i hope you find the one yu seek ... ... thnx and good luck
-
I likd this very emotional. thanks for sharing this great write with me.
-
how pretty thanks for the entry into my humble little contest
-
Beautiful... a very creatively written story, and I applaud your interesting use of the sky and heavens in relation to the girl. It emphasizes that the degree which the narrator in your poem had fallen for the girl was beyond anything small. ^^; Good luck in the contest
-
Thank you for your heartfelt entry, good luck, Josie
-
This is a wonderfully heartfelt piece. Not only does it flow well, but the ideas and language are good as well. I'm not normally one for rhyming poetry, but you pulled it off well with this.
-
This poem made me very emotional. This is an excellent write. I am glad to have read it. Thanks for entering and good luck!
-
Wow this is amazing.
-
this is a great write. Its sad that she meant so much to you and that she couldn't feel the same. I have felt the same. Good job. Keep up the excellent writing.
-
absolutely Beautiful...
i think i've read this before. it's just as awesome as i remember. thanks for entering!
-
Oh this poem was amazing... wonderful and amzing. That girl was very lucky but she didn't see what she had. Dang, if only I was single. lol. No but seriously, a great heartfelt poem. thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.
-
Thankyou for entering my contest this was a good poem good luck x
For getting into the finalists x
-
Read it again, still works for me - great poem, great handling of a sad subject.
-
Very nice, best of luck to you and thank you for your entry
-
This actually made me teary eyed.
Beautiful.
-
wow, powerful and intense title and a very well penned poem att that.
*smile* -
such a heartfelt piece. I am so glad you asked me to read this- it's one of the nicest pieces I hace read that rhyme without making it sound like a preschool chant. simply heartbreaking piece- esp the lines:
The stars have been stolen from me,
the heavens hidden away;
Abandoned beneath the clouds,
“Sorry” was all she could say.
Blue skies have been stolen from me,
the sun since replaced by rain;
She smiled, then flew far away,
and never tried to explain.
It's such a beautiful verse. great style, too. I like how you carry out the transition from loving her to losing her. && I love how you use the idea of stars- gave a great magical feleing! this definitely touched me- hope it is not at all personal.
congrats on the silver
hope you get some lovely trophies from the rest of the contests too
--char--
-
wow, really nice write. so emotional
-
"would ever feel so fair." Indeed I love that line.
Besides a few spelling errors which got covered by the amazingness of this piece I can't find anything I don't like. Maybe I'll read it another day again, a hundred times through.
To give your love away to someone who hasn't earned it, can be the most amazing and the most dangerous thing to do, all at the same time.
-
Excellent. Imagery, emotion and flow all combined to make a lovely poem.
Grizzled
-
This is beautiful, dear, and fully-deserving of that lovely gold trophy there! I know how it feels to lose love, for it reminds me almost of one whom I loved once. It's definitely not easy to get past, but we all move on, in time. Sometimes, it takes a heartache to show us what we're made of, or how to love without condition. A most lovely write, and best of luck to you
Laura
xxx
-
you basically captured the moment of when i first saw Andrew
whom i then dated for 9 months
and i am still in love with him
and i do believe this is what he thought of me
this piece is purely the mona lisa in form of words XD
-
-
XD. ^^ my cousin
-
-
Wow, great write. Really emotional. Actually, I wasn't on Allpoetry when you submitted this, but my cousin was like "OMG, u have to read this" and so I went on and realized u were part of my contest. XD
It holds great amount of emotion. -
The poem has a natural lilt and rhyme,the assonace interlaced and the rhyme uncompromized.I like rhyme when it works like this but rarely read it. Their is a sincerity within this,though it speaks of loss there is no bitterness, just a sadness offered to the universe.Congratulations on Gold.
-
wow!!!! this is awesome. it just flows and very toughtful, i can tell, you put your whole heart into this. thanks for entering this!!!
-
I really wanted happy poems, but this one is lovely. The part about her star may be slightly on the sappy side, but the rest is very interesting and your rhythm, story, and description really kept me interested. A sad and bittersweet ending.
Thanks for entering. -
MARVELLOUS!!!!!!!!
I am out of words!!!!This is so passionate, so romantic, so strong and so heart felt.It's just amazing and I really really loved this piece. Beautifully written.
Keep up the good work and good luck in my contest
-
This was so gorgeous!
-
oh my god, i can't think of words to describe how this makes me feel. you are a genius, i'm adding you as a favorite of mine, and there's no way i'm entering this contest and going up against you. truly amazing.
-
this is breathtaking...
perfect flow, a magical story,
and the imagery is flawless...
I could not ask to read a more
wonderful poem than this.
Love, Lane -
My first time reading your work and I am speechless! This is very strong and heartfelt piece, you make the reader feel your emotions..Wonderful piece my friend..will come to read more.
Amarige
-
Perfection
It would seem we all have our Izabela, though she goes by different names, the coulda' beens and shoulda' beens and the ones that got away. You catch so well that sudden, stunning thunder bolt that turns the world on its' side and makes you fall and collide with the angel that dares to walk among us. Then, having been touched by her, you make it clear that your world will never be the same, that you have been through some elemental change and you are no longer who you were. Having once been dipped in those healing waters you will hereafter have a thirst that can never be quenched. That, of course, is why you write poetry.
I wish I had written this poem. You write better than I do -- I can't think of a higher compliment. Yours are worth printing and keeping.
Thanks,
CaliOkie
-
I hate it when they take the whole freakin sky!! Why not just a star or two? A comet or maybe the moon? But noooooo, they can't just stop at a super-nova, or the milky way, they've got to have it all away from you... and the real kicker is, they don't even know the extent of what they've done. They can't even begin to understand the darkness of a night without sky- the gloom of a day without the sun....
The bastards just don't get it.
Alright- No rant intended- but this hit home in a way I don't care to admit. ::grins::
Cheers for the vent- and for writing such a lovely poem- you really do write beautifully.
-
MASTERPIECE!!!!
Love this poem too... you're a great writer as many others..
-
Beauty can blind you with its eyes.
The hard thing to do is to see beyond the beauty.
And what lies beneath.
In life i have walked with beauty many times, and held its hand and been burned by its light.
Beauty is easily loved, but just a day can unveil the reality of your first perception.
Blinded it can make your need of the physical so potent.
This is just natures calling, the power that controls us all.
The skill in life is to control your first emotions.
If you seek real love.
For never will you find it upon the surface of beauties transparent form.
What is it that you think yourself to be guided by?
The need for true love?
Or the moment you can share for a day in natures ask?
Now I find that beauty chases me, for i do not chase it.
Let your heart be your mind, and forsake that which calls you to make the daughter.
Be in control of your primitive.
If you wish to truly drown within a real beauty that lays within the heart.
-
Awwwww!!!Left me speechless... I do alot of poetry myself but this poem hit it right on the dot.
It flows nicely, and the reader becomes consumed by emotion as they read it. It was amazing!
Keep up the excellent work. I'm sure u have many readers out there wanting to read ur poems.
Grace
-
wow.
you deserve that gold xD
i came in 6th
lol. but enough bout me.
a great poem with an even better last line.
you have great comments and you deserve them all. great job.
-
Congratulations on Gold! This poem was just so wonderful, I swear it should be published. I've never called something a masterpeice, but this truely is. This will remain one of my favorite poems forever and I thank you so much for have entering it into my contest.
-
exquisite...
i'm reading more of you...
-
Thank you so much for your entry in our contest 'Love' to look for the best 'rhymer' on Allpoetry, in our opinion.
As we have had nearly 100 entries this has been a difficult contest to judge and although not a winner, we thoroughly enjoyed reading your entry.
We hope that you will enter the rest of the rounds in our Rhyming Extravaganza.
All the best Sue and Jeff.
-
Thank you for this poem. I'm never, ever going to forget it.
I can relate *so* well, and it's beautifully written, and just... perfect. Thank you.
-
bravo
Yes, indeed, most ambitious! Could use a tad of thightening--"sites" rather than "sights". However, having said that I will say this IS a most excellent poem indeed! bravo... bravo... bravo... -
This was very very touching! I love all of the discriptions of love, whether subtle or not, all were amazing.
-
God, to me this is a MASTERPIECE
This is so perfect. It is CLEAR in the telling and clean in perfect poetry, beautiful to the ear.
This is exceptional, special.
-----------
-
WOW!!!
This poem is amazing! I really like the sky metaphors! I didn't care too mush for the part about the daughter, but everything else was excellent, no, flawless! Keep it up!
-
Sorry about not leaving a comment yesterday, I was just spaced out. I love this poem to no end and it's made better by the fact that it has flow and the rhyme isn't forced. The title first drew me to it and it fits perfectly. I especially love the third stanza. It's beautiful.
. Rewarded 6
-
Well cliche or no, I loved it. Excellent piece with wonderful rhythm and flow. Since emotion is cliche in itself as we all have felt the same at one time or another, then it stands to reason that to express it's grief and or happiness would be expressed a million times the same way which in the end makes this piece so palatable to everyone> My verdict, wonderful poetic feel, expressive and heart capturing. hugs, Bunny
-
great!
Hey mat! sorry it took me 8,000 years to comment on this! I LOVED the first 4 stanzas--they fit together perfectly, and such excellent descriptions! The second part had a little less flow, but just as strong emotion--sort of the rational figuring it out/reflective reaction... very cool. I like the slight hope/wistfulness at the end, too. Is this true to life? I just want you to know I think you're an awesome writer--I wish you posted poems more often. You are super-cool. Well, talk to you later,
--Shannon
-
This is a beautiful poem and it is well written. I really like how you repeat the title throughout the poem, it really emphazizes your point. I like the thought of someone stealing the sky.
-
this poem spoke straight to my heart, and I hope this time I can get the words out - and in. Love given and not returned is the oldest and saddest story, but you have enlivened it with your passionate attempt to make sense of the experience that was so one-sided. The rhyme and meter feel tightly controlled, so the story doesn't break down into the primal scream of pain that it could have been. /the girl who stole the sky/ is a resonant phrase, well looped back to at the end. Great work.
. Rewarded 8
-
Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going on here. It is sad though. Everyone goes through this at least once though, where they fall really hard for someone who can't return their feelings. It sounds like you were really into her too. I'm sorry to hear about that. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself though.
-
Flawless!
Wow...there are very few poems that I've read that have been able to take my breath away...this is one of them. I'm stunned, really. This poem is perfect; flawless. What an honor to read. Thank you so much for sharing!
-Tim (Astral Flare) -
Beautiful emotions , raw in the simplest of truth..
I admire honest poetry.
This is full of brilliant imagery...smiles
Peace and many blessings
best wishes with this entry...
~A~
. Rewarded 4
-
Oh, how love disappoints. You know me, not the best judge of rhyming poetry, but this is a valiant effort. I think the setup is a little too long, the turn doesn't come until the very end of the fourth stanza. The drama might build more effectively if "love lost" is foreshadowed earlier on. give me a little hint that this love is not all "heaven" and "stars", afterall. sorry it took so long for me to get back to you. boatload of cases to close this month.
. Rewarded 8
-
this is so true! you are very good at expressing yourself in this poem good luck in the contest!
-
Gotta add claps for this.
-
"I don’t know why I fell so hard,
she never earned the love I gave."
That stanza really stuck out to me. VERY nice poem. I really did love this whole thing. The rhymes were perfect and the flow excellent. I don't know what to say but awesome. Thanks for entering this into my contest and the best of luck to you...The girl who stole the sky..wow. -
First the good points - the meter of this piece runs smoothly and the emotions of lost love are okay. However, again we get back to the small problem of clichés. It is very difficult to write an original sounding poem that sounds truly yours and not a million others when such a well worn theme is connected to such a used structure of abcbdefe rhyme. To then litter the piece with clichés only exacerbates the "having read this a squillion times before" feeling. There is however a natural flow that runs through the lines and while in some cases word choices could have been better and would have improved the phonetic flow of the piece even more, overall I could imagine people liking this as one would like the predicable poetry of Dan Fogleberg. Not my cup of tea but for what its trying to say, it is said with feeling and with sadness, it just hasn’t been said with much originality.
David
-
Great stuff Mat. Sadly beautiful and with great rhyme and meter. You know how much I hate that. Keep up the great writing. Take care and Have fun. Steve
. Rewarded 4
-
Oh my! I knew as soon as it said "could not bridge the distance" that it was turning
This is absolutely beautiful, nevermind the flawless rhythm and rhyme, I was taken in by perfectly painted emotion. I'm sad that it ended sadly but I also sense the hope in the end...
I thought this amazing wonderful, and this was my favorite:
"Starlight smile under sapphire eyes,
strength displayed with grace;
An angel sent to save my soul,
all truth was in her face.
I tried hard to memorise her,
noble use for sound and sight;
My senses all absorbed by her,
I stood blinded by the light."
I couldn't say enough!
♥ I hope you are well!
~Michele
. Rewarded 8
-
"Perhaps she’ll return tomorrow,
but I have my life to live;
I’ll search for who I thought I’d found,
with all this love to give."
This one touched me, Mat...especially considering my first love was from a town called Isabela...Such melancholy, yearning & selflessness is exhibited throughout each line. I also understand the "(and necessary) undertaking", all too well. Beautifully done, Poet. 
Wanda
. Rewarded 8
Adding your comment:
