Heavenly clouds part
for but one minute.
Velvet pétalos (petals) lay at my grave.
I see your tear-streaked face,
you lay crumbled.
Little Emma sits near.
'Loves, look up. There's so much to say.'
A faint tick of the clock sets as a reminder to me.
'Emma, darling. I have so much love for you. I'm sorry momma's no longer here.'
'Be a good girl, and grow up well. Make me proud, 'though I already am.'
Spiritly body turns, facing Peter.
'I know you're not happy, and I'm grieving too.'
'The dead lose their loved ones as well--my minute's almost up. I'll tell you that I love you, but I hope that's what you already know. We didn't really say good-bye, and still I refuse.'
His eyes widen in horror;
my lips part in a smile.
They both hear my last laugh.
'Goodbye means forever, and I know it's not true. Farewell means a long time. Although I don't want either of you to die...'
A thunderous noise vibrates the cemetary;
my spirit starts to raise away.
A final kiss is blown to them both--
and I say..
'See you soon.'
Author notes
I hope it was ok to add Emma as my daughter. If not, message me and I'll talk her out.
To readers: This poem is for a contest. We're supposed to write a poem of what we'd say if we had died and were given 60 seconds to say goodbye. So, sorry it doesn't rhyme. Never been good at it anyway. lol By the way, it sounded a lot better when I was writing it. Now that I'm reading it--well. I'm not sure I like it too much, so critiques are welcomed.
A contest entry
- Death... Your final words after the fact by BluesMan.
800 points, ended January 15, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Your first impression?
Comments
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i enjoyed this immensely. goodbye does mean forever, at least in my book, but it's like you say, farewell is for a short time. I think you have some serious talent. I really appreciated the part about the clock ticking. oh, the forever remind of only so much time! i look forward to reading more! Keep writing!
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Don't be so critical. This is a great twist on the prompt A sense of humor from the grave. It made me laugh
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Wow there's so much emotion in this, from grief to your happiness. The imagery is intriguing and I'm very impressed.
Peace Georgia
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