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Grandpa’s Belongings

The entrance

was painted

cerulean blue

which was Grandma’s
favorite color,

the door
to the room
creaked open like
a feeble old woman
sighing,

the dusty boxes
neatly stacked inside
revealed years
of sentimental
treasures collected,

too precious
to discard and
too painful
to frequently
examine.  

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • luna-midnight gold member
    February 13, 2008

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    awwww, this is sentimental, and so sad, wonderful nd lovely write, filled with the emotion of a lost one, so errie and longing.
    nice write
    stephanie =)


  • Cat gold member
    December 12, 2007
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    boy do i know this feeling-
    it all comes back with their items- with the things they treasured and held important

    i like the feeble door creaking like an old woman- i don't know if you need (in pain)- it's a strong image just with the words feeble (well chosen) and creaking (very well chosen)

    nicely done.


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Mary asked me to help with the judging - so I get to read some lovely poetry!

    I liked the nostalgic quality of this poem. The last stanza really wraps this poem up very nicely and makes the reader think about their own doors and boxes. Nice work here.

    ~ Nicolette


  • RuthKephart
    December 9, 2007
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    I had thought about entering this contest until I read your entry Simply perfect!
    Ruth


  • Cannonsfire
    December 7, 2007

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    Sometimes I wondered why we keep the painful memories in boxes and not the precious ones that make us smile, maybe because we keep reliving the good ones everyday of our life. This has lovely images of the sad ones we hide. Love, C


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 7, 2007

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    this has me remembering my own past where I sigh of the wanting of having my grandparents back in my life.
    but one must move on with life.
    yes you me thinking with this!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • LittleMoon silver member
    December 6, 2007
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    The reverence of peeking at the precious memories that were your grandparents lives. Curiosity of people who were part of your own roots and yet a trace of guilt to see what was so emotionally important to them. You get that complete picture over with your words.

  • ashjoe76
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    This conveys a lot of emotion. I believe this can happen only out of honest feelings...congrats and best regards

1 - 8 of 8