Hungry.
Ruthless.
Savage.
Heartless.
When does it end?
The question of life.
A persistent foe,
Larger than life.
Cold.
Uncaring.
Thievery.
Death.
What does it take
To live and die?
To lose to an unfeeling foe?
To lose one you love?
Heartbreak.
Longing.
Despair.
Hope.
How do you live
When another lays dying?
A loved one, a friend
Fighting, striving.
Life.
Dreams.
Cures
Cancer
Author notes
A very personal poem for me as I have had to deal throughout my life with the possibility of losing a family member very close to myself to this disease. I would like to ask for your honest opinions and please do critique critically.
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From December 2007 by amaranthine lover.
800 points, ended January 11, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - poems with impact by know one.
380 points, ended March 6, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How does this read? Please critique critically!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I too can relate to this, My mother has cancer, Shes been battling it for years. I love the way this is written. Superb.
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I love how you put some stanzas
with
words
going
down
like
this.
Awesome job.
This poem is very good.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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***
I can relate so much to this piece, even currently at this minute. My grandmother is dying from cancer as I speak this very moment, and she had breast cancer before and my grandfather also has had cancer for a while that I never knew of, so this is personal to me, even though I did not write it myself. Thanks for entering this, it feels great to be able to know that someone else is going through the same tragedy as I am and know that I am not alone. -
I like how one stanza will just be words, then you'll begin another stanza with a question, and then switch back to the one word per line stanzas. That is what I like about the poem the most. The feelings that I get from the poem are sort of confused in a way. In some ways they're sad feelings, and also angry feelings. I assume this is how you've felt. I do not know this for myself, my aunt died really young of cancer, so I never knew her myself, so I don't know the pain that goes along with it, and I believe your poem is an extremely accurate portrayal, and makes me feel what I would have felt if I had known her during her life-time. This is a wonderful poem and I find nothing at all wrong with it. Continue writing your beautiful pieces.
-Tiffany-
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You ask how this reads?? Well I can honestly tell you that you broke my heart!! I too have lost loved ones to this ugly and uncaring disease.... It's a horrid way to die and I can only hope for the day when the cure for all types presents itself... Best of luck to you!!!!
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wow i to can relate to this poem. I'v lost a family member many times to cancer every time i get close to a family member they end up dieing on me to cancer as soon as it gets cold. and it STINKS!
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Wow. This brings out what really goes on in peoples' minds when cancer is brought into loved ones' lives. I have never lost someone close to cancer, but after reading this I feel as if I can relate. This is a great one.
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This poem is so..... full of emotion. Anyone who has lost someone to this can completely understand, feeling within their own heart what you are saying. I think this is penned very well......
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