You turned rivers to flow way back north,
and hurricanes into a refreshing gentle breeze,
you sent volcanoes down to earth's core
and falling leaves back to their trees.
You dressed me the white of cotton and silk
wishing to slowly undress me again,
telling me jokes till tears filled my eyes
and turning the Olympus for me to a glen.
Every day you gave me a new piece of sun
warm and bright seated onto my open palms,
every day a new sheet covered with words
as precious to me as the Book of David's psalms.
Author notes
Thanks to B Chandler this poem is published in e-book of international poet's collection "Love is but... a Metaphor"
Prompt:I asked you if you liked me, you said no. I asked you if I was pretty, you said no. I asked you if i was in your heart, you said no. I asked you if you would cry if I walked away, you said no. So I walked away... you grabbed my arm and said... I don't like you, I love you... You're not pretty, you're beautiful... You're not in my heart, you are my heart...And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die... I love you....Unknown
~
In a list
A contest entry
- I Love You... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended December 8, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Beautiful...
... and very inspiring composition.
The closing lines of "Symmetry" ~ lines eleven and twelve ~ didn't fulfill their mission. Closing lines should always be the jewel of all lines, or at least as bright.
Here I see "Symmetry" with ten flawsless brilliant cut diamond followed by copper strings; and my suggestion is: Please revise lines eleven and twelve.
I enjoyed the visit to this page.
In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU -
-
Thank you for your kind visit and constructive comment about this poem. I will think about your suggestion.
~Sonja~
-
-
I am not surprised that this poem has been so well praised since even in its originality of imagery it touches something we can all identify with and recognise. I love the contrast in scale and dynamism between volcanoes and leaves, and later mountains into glens. I also like the way that this scale is gradually shrunk down or increasingly focused down to an intimate moment, to something precious. Thanks for posting it.
-
-
Thanks a lot for your kind visit to my site.
~Sonja~
-
-
Congratulations on the Silver Cup!!!
This is an absolutely beautiful poem!! Thank you for sharing your delightful muse's masterpiece with us!!
& 
xx Cyn xx
-
Beloved Poetess ...
You write poetry from the pure core of love. No wonder it touched upon the essence of Love's psalms. Thank you!
Myra
-
Lovely Poem
One cannot unscramble an egg, but we want time to move forward so things purposefully get done.
-
I got lost in this. I can see why this won a trophy. It was stunning writing.
Love
Wayne Leon
-
-
Thank you Wayne for your rare but precious visit to my site and of course for so nice comment and applause.
~Sonja~
-
-
Every day you gave me a new piece of sun
warm and bright seated onto my open palms,
every day a new sheet covered with words
as precious to me as the Book of David's psalms.
Well what a wonderful immagery and what a peaceful poetry..this is how love makes us a poet..I love this piece..very calm and very flowing impact..Thank you so much for the wonderful sharing my friend..well done... -
Excellent title. The quote is lovely inspiration for this beautiful write. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, nice alliteration and assonance. Elegant verse. Well penned and most enjoyed.
-
That is a deep feeling, and a pleasure to read. I like the impossible events in stanza 1, and the tenderness of the whole poem. Lovely, good luck!
-
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
I feel something like this now but am so afraid to show it for also it is wrong for me to feel this. Though the feelings you so tenderly express here are the be kept and cherished.
-
Beautiful!
I so enjoy your work, this one is absolutely beautiful, I especially enjoyed the ending. Excellent work!
-
this is such beautiful love poetry- I love the first stanza...I need to find symmetry like this!!! Such beautiful imagery and creativity in this poem..
-
That must be one of the most beautiful quotes ever written and your poem reflects and echoes it perfectly.... therefore the title of this poem is perfect too - a symmetry of hearts, two voices that only knows how to begin and end in "I love you"... beautiful...a poem that shows love's gentle touch and its power.
~ Nicolette
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
