The Sentinel
He was ancient that dude and he lived in a shack, and he stared all the time up the road
To the West, 'cross the waste, if you asked he would say "Over there is the devil's abode."
One day he'll come charging right over that hill like he did in my grandfather's day
Then with these magic glasses and this sacred blade if I'm lucky I'll put him away
To be sure, to the West was a picture of Hell, a wasteland of nuclear sand
That not even God would inhabit by choice, that desolate, blasted up land
Well, as for old Lucifer, who knows his taste, he comes from a hot enough zone
With most of the people dead, frying in Hell, it's a place where he could be alone
Endlessly waiting the old fella sat from a time before anyone knew
While out in his garden, in back of the shack the most wonderful vegetables grew
Though everyone else's grew nothing but dust or mutie things no good to eat
The stock in his pens was all perfect and plump, the water he pumped always sweet
We helped him, he fed us, he waited and hummed to some music that we couldn't hear
We brought him each stranger who came into town, through mystical glasses he'd peer
Not him, he would judge, then go back to his watch for the devil to come from the west
Just watching, just watching, just waiting until the next one would come for his test
Na na na, na na na, na na na, he sang, knock knock knockin' on Heaven's door
He kept that old sacred type non rusting knife beside him right there on the floor
This morning I woke to an unearthly yell and I thought he had gone without trace
'Til I found him here with this dead thing and he passed the glasses, said, "Here, take my place."
Now cool is blue for me, hot is quite red and I'm seeing like never before
The laser edged mark seventeen is right here, beside me, in reach, on the floor
The battle computer is talking to me, conduction it's called, in my head
It plays ancient music, called A.C.D.C., The Stones, Melloncamp, Motorhead
The battle clones chatter away on the comm, fighting on this old mystical war
Who knows when one once again will come at us, to fight it's what I'm living for
The medical droid keeps me healthy and fine, It never lets me feel pain
I'm learning a new song would you like to hear? The name of it's Prince, Purple Rain
Author notes
This is from an ongoing work of mine called The Battle Clone Cycle. The whole thing is here http://mywebpage.netscape.com/ltilander/clone.htm
A contest entry
- FUTUR15T1C by Slinky-milinky.
650 points, ended December 19, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Excellent Writing -- OUTSTANDING
Verses 11 and 12 (I think) in The Eve of Destruction is the repetition of "play" and "comes" intentional?
But hey little surfer dude don't be all down
You still can play play games when the clones aren't around
They can't tunnel upwards and reach to the sky
Where eagles and space station factories still fly
Our comm units, laser knives, tech from above
Flow down on us daily, from skywatch comes comes love
One day we'll win out with our helpers from space
And we'll make our whole world a good surfer dude place
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This is a magnificent piece of work.
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Doubling words is
Something I do when I'm tired and someone distracts me. It happens too much. I'll fix it. Thanks.
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you are funny


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lol, again i love the pop culture, this bought a smile to my face, interesting ryhme structure and fantastical story, when the contest has ended i will check out the whole work. thank you for entering! x




